1 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,700 Morning. 2 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:58,785 Good morning. 3 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,369 Morning. 4 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,964 Get your fingers out of the icing. 5 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,842 Tommy Lee, get your fingers out of the frosting. 6 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,608 [Bang] 7 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,985 Wave those flags, son. 8 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,528 Get out of there! 9 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,321 Yeah! Hit them again! 10 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,781 Get out of here! 11 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,367 Get out of them trees, damn it! 12 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,368 Aah! 13 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,452 [Bang Bang] 14 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,872 Yeah! Get 'em! Migrate south, will you? 15 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,248 Mama. 16 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,001 Mama! 17 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,003 Three more radios for you, Shelby. 18 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,337 Not now, Tommy. 19 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,507 Mama, this nail polish is drying way too dark. 20 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:40,011 Practically paint my foot. Looks like a stuck pig bled all over my hands. 21 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,805 I'm sure I have something that will do. 22 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,224 Oh, no. 23 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,059 It has to be delicate. 24 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,603 If I don't have something, 25 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,896 I will send your brothers 26 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,522 to get delicate pink nail polish. 27 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,481 Mama, there's... 28 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,733 Just a minute. 29 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,736 Great idea, Mama. I'd love to see what the boys would pick out. 30 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,070 Delivery man! 31 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,072 Someone stop that truck! Stop that... 32 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,657 Aah! 33 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,951 Don't put ice down my back! 34 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,912 You should have drowned them at birth. 35 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,204 Shelby. 36 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,998 See if you can get this. 37 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,333 Mama, my nails are wet. 38 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,834 Shelby. 39 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,170 Ma'am. 40 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,505 Would you look at those, please? 41 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,676 Myrtle, hi. 42 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,844 [Bang] 43 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,346 Hold on, please. 44 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,556 I'm going to get you right now! 45 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:26,557 [Bang] 46 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:30,061 Drum, sweetheart, I'm on the phone! 47 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,145 [Bang] 48 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,773 Stop that now! I can't hear myself think! 49 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,774 [Bang] 50 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,777 Myrtle, the champagne glasses, they're all broken. 51 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,362 Help. 52 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,207 Spud! 53 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,301 [Television Plays] 54 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,763 Spud, turn off that stupid television. 55 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:09,266 Get in here and finish dyeing these easter eggs. 56 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,768 I ran out of stuff. 57 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,770 That's why God invented the AandP. 58 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,772 I got to work on the truck. 59 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,774 No. You got to get the lead out. 60 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,818 Yes, ma'am. I live to serve. 61 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,779 If those eggs are not at the church by noon, 62 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,155 they don't get hidden. 63 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,323 [Door Slams] 64 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,826 Are you listening to me, Spud? 65 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,123 Mrs. Jones? 66 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,416 Are you Annelle? 67 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,210 Oh, you sweet thing. Come on in. 68 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,170 Excuse me. 69 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:42,008 And pick up my green dress at the cleaners! 70 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,010 Am I interrupting something? 71 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,512 No. I'm just screaming at my husband. 72 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,306 I can do that anytime. 73 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,767 Please, call me Truvy. 74 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519 Truvy. Thank you. 75 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,855 Mama, look at this. 76 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,857 This was in the hall closet. 77 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,316 What is it? 78 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,860 Rubbers. 79 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,111 Tommy says Jonathan's planning 80 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,739 to cover the honeymoon getaway car with these. 81 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,033 Please stop him! 82 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,451 Keep your voice down. 83 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,910 Keep your voice... Jonathan! 84 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,371 Boys, I want to talk to you. 85 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,414 Tommy. Jonathan! 86 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,540 Tommy! 87 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:18,878 Jonathan, don't you decorate your sister's car with condoms! 88 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,296 It's tacky! 89 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,257 It's like talking to a brick wall. 90 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,258 [Bang] 91 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,260 If he's trying to drive me crazy, 92 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,386 it's too late. 93 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,723 There must be a better way to get rid of those birds. 94 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,726 We could cut down all our trees 95 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,269 or change the migratory patterns 96 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,562 of North American birds. 97 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,231 You told him to get rid of them. 98 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,068 I had no idea he would alienate the entire neighborhood. 99 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,903 The neighborhood would be more alienated 100 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,280 if they got covered in bird shit 101 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,615 at my reception. 102 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,285 Pretty talk. You have to be so crude? 103 00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,628 [Coughing] 104 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,257 Okay. 105 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,093 Oops. I see a hole. 106 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,637 Yeah. I was hoping you'd catch that. 107 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,932 It's a little bit pouffier than I would normally do, 108 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,433 but I'm nervous. 109 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,393 Oh, I'm not worried about that. 110 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,896 I usually wrap my entire head in toilet paper 111 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,439 when I go to bed, 112 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,441 so it gets pretty smooshed down 113 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,734 in that process, anyway. 114 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,903 In my class at the trade school, 115 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,572 I was number one in frosting and streaking. 116 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,074 I did my own. 117 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,784 Really? 118 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:32,785 That's good. 119 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,496 And I can usually spot a bottle job 120 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,997 at 20 paces. 121 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,500 Your technique is really good. 122 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,835 Thanks. 123 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,922 I think your form and content will improve with time. 124 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,424 So, best I can tell, young lady, 125 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,468 you've just landed yourself a job. 126 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,304 Oh! Great! Oh, thank you! 127 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,973 Oh, thank you, Miss Truvy. 128 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,975 No time for thanks this morning. 129 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,477 We'll be busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 130 00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,812 Here. Let me help you. 131 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,980 I got it. 132 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,566 You got hairs and fuzzies all over you. 133 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,068 There's so much static electricity in this room, 134 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,863 I pick up everything but boys and money. 135 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,410 Louie! 136 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,370 Louie, hold up. 137 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,997 I want you to meet Annelle. 138 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:18,873 Hi. 139 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,875 She's taking Judy's place. 140 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,376 Swell. 141 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,838 Louie, take out the garbage! 142 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,006 Can't! 143 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,632 Late. 144 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,969 What did you hire her for? 145 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,640 Our son. 146 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,810 We're so proud of him. 147 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:42,855 Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash? 148 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,023 Okay. 149 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,651 I am so excited. 150 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,320 I can't believe it's happening. 151 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,654 I'm a beautician. 152 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,866 Ah-ah-ah. Glamour technician. 153 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,784 Glamour technician. 154 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,245 And I'll have you know you are working 155 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,789 in the most successful shop in this town. 156 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,541 I have a strict philosophy 157 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,211 that I have stuck to for 15 years... 158 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:10,966 There is no such thing as natural beauty. 159 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,261 You remember that, or we're all out of a job. 160 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,389 Look at me. It takes some effort to look like this. 161 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,225 Oh, I can see that. 162 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,311 How long have you been in town? 163 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,729 A few weeks. 164 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,939 New in town. 165 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,983 It must be exciting being in a new place. 166 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,945 I wouldn't know. I've lived here all my life. 167 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,240 Well, tell me things about yourself. 168 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,741 There's nothing to tell. 169 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,577 I live here. I've got a job now. 170 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,912 That's it. 171 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,414 Can I borrow these back issues of Southern Hair? 172 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,749 Sure. Take them. 173 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,084 It is essential 174 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,920 to stay abreast of the latest styles. 175 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,922 I'm glad to see your interest. 176 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,424 Well, you must live close by. 177 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,218 At least in walking distance. 178 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,928 I didn't see a car. 179 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,391 I don't have a car. 180 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,893 I've been staying across the river 181 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,603 at Robeline's boarding house. 182 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,606 That's quite a walk. 183 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,400 Ruth Robeline. 184 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,819 Now there is a story for you. 185 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,780 She is a troubled, twisted soul. 186 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,367 Her whole life has been an experiment in terror. 187 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,995 Her husband got killed in World War II. 188 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,872 Then her son got killed in Vietnam. 189 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,708 When it comes to suffering, 190 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,294 she is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. 191 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,962 I had no idea. 192 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,547 [Horn Honks] 193 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,050 Hello, Clairee! 194 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,260 Good morning. 195 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,345 Annelle, I'd like to introduce you 196 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,347 to the former first lady of Chinquapin... 197 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,473 Mrs. Belcher. 198 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,018 Clairee, I'd like you to meet Annelle. 199 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,644 I'm a little embarrassed. I'm windblown. 200 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,480 I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park. 201 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,316 Yeah. How did that go? 202 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,775 Beautifully, 203 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,612 except Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. 204 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,156 It was fabulous. 205 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,490 Was she hurt? 206 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,452 I doubt it. She got hit in the head. 207 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,996 Janice Van Meter's the current mayor's wife. 208 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,164 We hate her. 209 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,000 They named the new park after Clairee's late husband. 210 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,294 This town is so proud of her. 211 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,837 That's nice. 212 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,923 What's your family name, dear? 213 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,968 Well, my married name is Dupuy, 214 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,346 and I'm originally from Zwolle. 215 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,764 How nice. 216 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,807 Annelle, honey, there's some towels in the dryer. 217 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,643 Would you fold them and bring them in? 218 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:27,686 Sure. 219 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,645 Thank you. 220 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,981 Sweet gal. Where did you find her? 221 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,316 Yesterday, when Judy quit, 222 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,817 I called the trade school 223 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,820 and told them to send me a warm body. 224 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,823 Annelle was the valedictorian of the hairdo class. 225 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,826 And I think there's a story there. 226 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,745 What makes you say that? 227 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,705 Well, for starters, she's married, 228 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,708 but she's living over at Ruth Robeline's. 229 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,126 Alone. 230 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,254 I'd get to the bottom of this if I were you... 231 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,799 if you have silverware you'd like to keep. 232 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,760 I'm not worried. She's as sweet as she can be. 233 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,056 Besides, I kind of like the idea of hiring somebody with a past. 234 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,808 She can't be more than 18. 235 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,394 She hasn't had time to have a past. 236 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,728 Get with it, Clairee. 237 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,063 This is the '80s. 238 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,899 If you achieve puberty, you can achieve a past. 239 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,900 [Bang Bang] 240 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:15,901 Whoa! 241 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,069 That man! 242 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,987 I swear, I don't know 243 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,323 how M'Lynn puts up with that. 244 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,161 Go on! Get out of here! 245 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:00,946 Jackson, please. 246 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,407 I'm going to talk some sense into you. 247 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,827 It's bad luck to see me before the wedding. 248 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,538 So you are going to marry me. 249 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,539 Jackson... 250 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,959 We can work this out, Shelby, please. 251 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,462 You want to go through with this. 252 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,798 I don't want to give back all the wedding presents. 253 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:24,136 That VCR alone is worth getting married for, 254 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,180 and I love you. 255 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,640 [Bang Bang] 256 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,476 If Daddy catches you in here, 257 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,978 whether or not I can carry your children 258 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,313 will not matter. 259 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,981 He will cut your thing off. 260 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,858 Say you're going to marry me. 261 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,402 I hate suspense. 262 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,656 Okay. Okay. 263 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,951 You meet me at 2:00. Presbyterian church. 264 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,079 I'll be the one in the veil down front. 265 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,669 Oh. 266 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,214 I'm going to make you very happy. 267 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,138 We'll see. 268 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,938 Boy, give me the sports. 269 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,197 Boys, we're off to Truvy's. 270 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,033 Jonathan, keep your eye on your brother Tommy. 271 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,368 Am I my brother's keeper? 272 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,703 Your brother's warden is what you are. 273 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,705 That horrible woman is coming by 274 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,166 to deliver the groom's cake in about an... 275 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,546 Where's your father? 276 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,464 His coffee kicked in. 277 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,135 Shelby, let's go. 278 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,930 Okay, Mama. I said I'd be right there. 279 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,229 Shelby, you're going to be late for your own wedding. 280 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,399 I'm wearing my hair down 'cause Jackson likes it down. 281 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,402 The veil would be prettier with your hair up. 282 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,571 Get over it, Mama. 283 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,655 Whoops. 284 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,739 [Woof Woof] 285 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,659 Come here! Stop it, Rhett! 286 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,452 Oh, shit! 287 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,996 It's Miss Ouiser. 288 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,747 Back door. 289 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,583 [Woof Woof Woof] 290 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,627 Drum! 291 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,878 Rhett! 292 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:22,963 M'Lynn! 293 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,591 Open the door! I know you're in there! 294 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,259 Drum! 295 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,428 I think there's somebody at the door. 296 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,763 I think it's for Daddy. 297 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,807 I know you're in there! 298 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,267 [Pounding On Door] 299 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,810 That is all she wrote! 300 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,729 Say please. 301 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:39,855 Thank you. 302 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,442 Get over here, Rhett! 303 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,152 Stop pulling! 304 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,112 Sit. Oh, Rhett! 305 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,406 Sit! Sit. 306 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,869 Ouiser, you look like hammered shit. 307 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,621 Don't talk to me like that! 308 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,457 I'm sorry. You look like regular shit. 309 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,126 I have such a bone to pick with you. 310 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,005 Woof! Aah! 311 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,465 Stop egging him on. 312 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,466 Come here. 313 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,218 Listen, I have just come from the vet. 314 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,596 Come here, Rhett. 315 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,306 Whitey Black says 316 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,974 that all this noise 317 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,601 that you've been making around here 318 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,144 for the last few days 319 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,314 has been causing a nervous condition in my dog. 320 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,150 Look at this. All his hair's falling out. 321 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,818 [Woof Woof] 322 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,904 I got to give this animal tranquilizers. 323 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,739 Whitey Black is a moron. 324 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,659 I'm not even sure he has opposable thumbs. 325 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:37,120 Now if you'll excuse me, I have work out in the backyard. 326 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,582 Hi, Miss Ouiser. 327 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,417 Ecch. Leave me alone. 328 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,919 Now you listen to me. 329 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,421 I don't know if I'm coming or going. 330 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,840 I heard you got so screwed up 331 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,301 you cut your dog out of your will 332 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,428 and had an ungrateful nephew put to sleep. 333 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,764 I'm at the end of my rope. 334 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,226 Well, tie a noose in it and slip it over your head. 335 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,271 Oh, damn it, Ouiser. 336 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,983 I don't want to have to kill you. 337 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,652 Boys! Bring me my gun! 338 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,612 Don't you threaten me, Drum Eatenton, 339 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,614 or I will call the police. 340 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,242 I got to scare away about five zillion birds 341 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,244 this afternoon before Shelby's reception. 342 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,371 If I don't, I'll have to deal with my wife, 343 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,748 and I make it a point never to deal with my wife. 344 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,625 But that dog is on his last legs. 345 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,294 What am I going to do with that poor animal? 346 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,754 Serve him on toast. 347 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,801 You get those magnolias out of my tree? 348 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,971 The judge has not decided whose tree that is exactly. 349 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,806 It is mine. 350 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,726 I will speak to M'Lynn about this. 351 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,148 Now, are these chocolate chips semisweet or milk? 352 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,566 They're milk. 353 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,901 Is the Karo syrup light or dark? 354 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,403 It's a matter of taste. 355 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,738 Where's the other one 356 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,030 you were talking about... 357 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,240 A cuppa-cuppa-cup? 358 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,409 That's simple. You don't need to write that down. 359 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,578 A cup of flour, a cup of sugar, 360 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,830 a cup of fruit cocktail with the juice, 361 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,124 and you mix and bake at 350 362 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,250 to a golden bubbly. 363 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,252 Sounds awfully rich. 364 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,630 It is. So I serve it over ice cream to cut the sweetness. 365 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,466 I'll be right back, honey. 366 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,052 Well, M'Lynn, looks like you're ready to roll. 367 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,055 I think we can trust Annelle to do that. 368 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,892 Honey, her coiffure card's in a box on the counter. 369 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,226 Oh, I don't know. 370 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,728 Today is a very special day, 371 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,397 and my work tends to be too pouffy when I'm nervous. 372 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,733 You stop that. You're a professional now, 373 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,027 so get over there and bang some hair. 374 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,532 Does your dress have to go over your head? 375 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,993 No. 376 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,870 Oh, good. 377 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:43,789 I'm sorry. 378 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:44,915 Relax. 379 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,917 You can't screw up her hair. 380 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,669 Just make it look like a brown football helmet. 381 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,380 I must have missed the passage in Emily Post 382 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,926 that said all abuse is heaped on the mother of the bride. 383 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,220 Oh, hush, girls. 384 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,305 Shelby, your mama never tells us much. 385 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,515 What's Jackson like? 386 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,849 He's really cute. 387 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:04,851 I thought he was a pest at first, 388 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,145 but he kind of grew on me and now I love him. 389 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,689 You made a very good catch, Shelby. 390 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,984 Louisiana lawyers do well, whether they want to or not. 391 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,361 I don't really care. 392 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,695 Don't get me wrong. 393 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,697 The money's real nice and all, 394 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,326 but I just like the idea of growing old with somebody. 395 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,328 My dream is to get old 396 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,331 and sit on the back porch covered with grandchildren 397 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,416 and say "no" and "stop that." 398 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,794 Are you going to quit your nursing job? 399 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,295 Never. I love it. 400 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,840 I love being around all those babies. 401 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,341 Drum and I both feel 402 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,885 she should not work after she gets married. 403 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,304 I'm so anxious to discuss this topic 404 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,056 for the 900th time this week. 405 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,267 You should not be on your feet all day long. 406 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,352 You should be kinder to your circulatory system. 407 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,896 You know what you need in here, Truvy? 408 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,231 You need a radio. 409 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,733 Music is a wonderful thing to have in the background. 410 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:57,779 It takes the pressure off everybody feeling they have to talk so much. 411 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,197 I used to have one, 412 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,907 but I slammed it against the wall 413 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,660 when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. 414 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,161 Of course I know now 415 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,415 I was suffering from premenstrual syndrome. 416 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:11,585 Radio... What did I just... 417 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,461 Oh, yes. 418 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,215 The Antilley family is selling KPPD. 419 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,343 I wonder how much radio stations sell for. 420 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:23,346 Miss Clairee, you should buy KPPD. 421 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,015 You got plenty of money. 422 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,559 What would I do with a radio station? 423 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:28,852 Business never interested me. 424 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,271 Lloyd took care of all that stuff. 425 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,066 I hope you and Jackson will be as happy 426 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,693 as Lloyd and I were. 427 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,862 We had such a good time... 428 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906 until November. 429 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,785 At least he hung on through the state playoffs. 430 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,830 Miss Clairee, there are still good times to be had. 431 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,543 Well, I really do love football, 432 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:57,505 but it's hard to parlay that into a reason to live. 433 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,300 What are your colors, Shelby? 434 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,968 They're Blush and Bashful. 435 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,637 Ooh! 436 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,430 Her colors are pink and pink. 437 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,767 My colors are Blush and Bashful, Mama. 438 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,645 How precious is this wedding going to get? 439 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,688 My colors are Blush and Bashful. 440 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,857 I have chosen two shades of pink. 441 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,734 One is much deeper than the other. 442 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,946 But the bridesmaids' dresses, they are really beautiful. 443 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,323 The ceremony will be, too. 444 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,784 The walls are banked with sprays of flowers 445 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,453 in my two shades of Blush and Bashful, 446 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,957 pink carpet specially laid out for my service, 447 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,291 and pink silk bunting 448 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:36,252 draped over anything that would stand still. 449 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:39,839 That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol. 450 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,134 I like pink. Pink is my signature color. 451 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:44,552 How many bridesmaids? 452 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,054 Nine. 453 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,098 Nine? Good lord. 454 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,307 Exactly. 455 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:52,477 Mama made me have my cousins and Margie St. Maurice. 456 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,479 Let's not go into this now. 457 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,147 There was no way around it. 458 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,774 It will be pretentious. 459 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,150 And Daddy always says, 460 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,695 "An ounce of pretension's worth a pound of manure." 461 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,197 The poet laureate of Dogwood Lane. 462 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,491 Mama, I wish you'd get off Daddy's back. 463 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,659 Shelby, look. I don't... 464 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,494 Fill us in on the reception. 465 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:13,039 My reception, my reception... 466 00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,583 Ferns, dancing, tons of people, 467 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,294 every pink flower west of the Mississippi, 468 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,505 wedding cake in the dining room, 469 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,050 and the groom's cake hidden in the carport. 470 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,970 Shelby and I, we agree on one thing... 471 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,723 The groom's cake. The groom's cake. 472 00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:31,057 It's awful. 473 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:34,352 It's in the shape of a giant armadillo. 474 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:35,979 An armadillo? 475 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,564 You're joking, right? 476 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,483 Jackson wanted a cake in the shape of an armadillo. 477 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:41,735 His aunt makes them. 478 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,611 It's unusual. 479 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:44,779 It's repulsive. 480 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,865 It's got gray icing. 481 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:49,617 I can't even begin to think how you make gray icing. 482 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:53,121 Worse, the cake part is red velvet cake... 483 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,414 Blood red. 484 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,208 People are going to be hacking into this poor animal. 485 00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,210 It looks like it's bleeding to death. 486 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,463 The rehearsal supper was a real experience. 487 00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,882 Mama, it wasn't that bad. 488 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,718 It was at Jackson's uncle's place on the river. 489 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,928 Jackson's from a good ol' Southern family 490 00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,472 with good ol' Southern values... 491 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,557 Either shoot it, stuff it, or marry it. 492 00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,435 They're simply outdoorsy, that's all. 493 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,730 Did y'all do anything especially romantic? 494 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,732 We drove down to Frenchman's Point 495 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,233 and went parking. 496 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:23,443 Ooh. 497 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:26,154 Oh, Shelby, really. 498 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,697 Oh, M'Lynn, leave her alone. 499 00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,407 This is my favorite part. 500 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,034 This is the romantic part. 501 00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:34,037 Now, see, that's what really melts my butter. 502 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,581 Well, then, we went skinny-dipping, 503 00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:38,833 and we did things that frightened the fish. 504 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,920 It's been a long time since we've had a youngster in this place. 505 00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:44,422 And we talked and talked and talked. 506 00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,257 I love those kind of talks... 507 00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,760 In the arms of the man you love. 508 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,096 Actually, we fought most of the time. 509 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,680 You fought? 510 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,141 'Cause I told him I wouldn't marry him. 511 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:56,768 What? 512 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,187 Why did you do a thing like that? 513 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,940 Oh, it's okay now. We worked it all out. 514 00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:05,985 Oh, it was probably one of those last-minute jitter things. 515 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,363 No, but the wedding's still on. 516 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,615 Well, thank goodness, 517 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,285 because this is going in the hairdo hall of fame. 518 00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:15,787 Shelby, you scared us. 519 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,831 That wasn't a nice thing to do to your mama. 520 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:22,293 Never say a thing like that to a woman who's marinating 50 pounds of crab claws. 521 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:26,548 Oh, but the making up can be so romantic. 522 00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,009 I miss romance so much. 523 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,554 Oh, Truvy. It can't be that bad. 524 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:33,972 Oh, really, now? 525 00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:36,808 The last romantic thing my husband did for me 526 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,143 was back in 1972. 527 00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,521 He enclosed this carport so I could support him. 528 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,566 I think I have something that could cheer you up. 529 00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,568 Drum and I have been planning 530 00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,027 on talking to your husband 531 00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,071 about building a room onto our house. 532 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:56,327 If you'll give Spud a job, I'll give you hot oil treatments for the rest of your life. 533 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,371 Annelle, this looks pretty good. 534 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,999 I think you know what you're doing. 535 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,000 [Annelle] Thank you. 536 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,460 Mrs. Eatenton, you have great hair. 537 00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,005 Your scalp's as clean as a whistle. 538 00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:07,964 [M'Lynn] I try. 539 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,841 [Truvy] It must run in the family. 540 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:13,303 The young 'un's got the prettiest hair I ever had my hands in. 541 00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,847 Just because I'm bragging on you, don't get lazy. 542 00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,182 Hold your head up. 543 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,391 Stop it. 544 00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:19,434 Shelby? 545 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:21,519 Shelby. 546 00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:22,645 M'Lynn! 547 00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:25,273 I'll get some juice. 548 00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:29,068 Truvy, there's some candy in my purse. 549 00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,237 I have some right here. 550 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,199 Shelby, Shelby, hold on. 551 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:36,951 Clairee's getting you some juice. 552 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,203 Shelby, Shelby, Shelby. 553 00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:39,662 Should I get her a cookie? 554 00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:40,788 No. Juice is better. 555 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,041 Here's the juice. 556 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,835 Shelby. Shelby, you need some juice. 557 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,086 You need some juice. 558 00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:48,296 Stop it, Mama. 559 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,255 Drink the juice. 560 00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:50,340 Please. 561 00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:53,968 No! Stop it, Mama! I have some candy in my purse. 562 00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:57,055 You didn't bring your purse, sweetheart. You didn't bring your purse. 563 00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,598 No, you didn't. Here you go. 564 00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,684 There you go. Drink some of this. 565 00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:05,230 It's not any wonder, 566 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:08,024 with all this running around and wedding nonsense. 567 00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:11,069 Excuse me. Should I call the doctor or something? 568 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,153 No, no. 569 00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,404 She's a diabetic. 570 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:16,407 She just has a little too much insulin, that's all. 571 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,077 A little more in her, she'll be all right. 572 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:22,163 If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to leave. 573 00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:24,415 I'd love to see you try. 574 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,625 Cooperate, please. 575 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,627 Honey, drink, please. 576 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,796 Come on now. That a girl. 577 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,839 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes' yes. 578 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,758 There you go, there you go. 579 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,094 There, there, there. That's a start. 580 00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,221 This one hit her fast. 581 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:41,182 She's been so upset lately. 582 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:44,894 Dr. Mitchell told her on her last appointment... 583 00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,189 children aren't possible. 584 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,027 Don't talk about me like I'm not here. 585 00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:57,865 Oh, oh, oh. She's making some sense now. 586 00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,492 Yes, she is. 587 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:02,578 This one was not bad at all. It was not bad at all. 588 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,873 Now I think we need a little more juice. 589 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,042 Could I do something to help? 590 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:11,045 No. She'll be fine. Don't fuss over her. 591 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,464 Normality is very important to Shelby. 592 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:14,924 Here, M'Lynn. Thanks. 593 00:27:15,009 --> 00:27:18,219 I am really sorry about the children part, M'Lynn. 594 00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:19,721 I know. 595 00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,098 Shelby's afraid that Jackson will be throwing away 596 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,516 his chance to have children. 597 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,562 Jackson said... 598 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,482 "Shelby, don't be stupid. 599 00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:34,819 There's plenty of kids out there need good homes." 600 00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,571 Drink some. 601 00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:41,075 "We'll adopt 10 of them. 602 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,077 We'll buy them if we have to." 603 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,830 Jackson sounds like good people to me. 604 00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,257 Oh, Mama, I'm sorry. 605 00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:59,010 That's all right, honey. Oh, it's all right. 606 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,012 It's all over now. It's over. 607 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:02,305 You hold your juice. 608 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,598 Okay. 609 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,184 It's all over. Hold your juice. 610 00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,185 All right. 611 00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:09,312 Okay. 612 00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:10,521 You all right? 613 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,440 Oh, Truvy, I'm sorry. 614 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,733 Oh, I'll fix it. 615 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,943 We'll fix it. 616 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:24,285 Okay. 617 00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,331 What did I do with my gun? Where did you leave it? 618 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,625 How the hell do I know? 619 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,794 Well, come on. We have work to do. 620 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,003 Daylight's burning. 621 00:28:34,088 --> 00:28:36,464 We're going to get rid of some birds. 622 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,597 Whoo! Got the arrows, Daddy. 623 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,099 All right, all right. 624 00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:48,768 Hey! Hey! Lookee here, lookee here. 625 00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:51,187 Dad, I got the target. 626 00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:54,148 No. We're not going target shooting. Forget it. 627 00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,985 Miss Clairee, what cute shoes. 628 00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,570 You think so? 629 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,489 I'm not so sure myself. 630 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,117 They seem a little too racy for me. 631 00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:05,827 I'll probably give them away. 632 00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,830 They're just too cha-cha for words. 633 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:10,581 I'll buy them from you. 634 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,791 What size you wear? 635 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,251 I wear a size 6, 636 00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:16,546 but a 7 feels so good I buy a size 8. 637 00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:17,630 They're 81/2. 638 00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,132 Perfect. 639 00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,967 Lord, give us strength. 640 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:25,138 Come here, Rhett! 641 00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,181 That is one ugly dog. 642 00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,683 What kind of dog is that? 643 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,018 If it had hair, a Saint Bernard. 644 00:29:31,103 --> 00:29:34,605 This is it. I've found it. I am in hell. 645 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,023 Good morning, Ouiser. 646 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:38,568 Don't try to get on my good side. 647 00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,445 I no longer have one. 648 00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,321 You're a little early, ain't you? 649 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,365 That is precisely why I'm here... 650 00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:46,701 to talk to M'Lynn about her husband. 651 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:50,121 He is a boil on the butt of humanity. 652 00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:53,583 I'm sorry, Ouiser. This whole thing has gotten out of hand. 653 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:58,337 It's not your fault. I used to think you were crazy for marrying that man. 654 00:29:58,422 --> 00:30:01,382 Then I thought you were a glutton for punishment. 655 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:05,303 Now I realize you must be on some mission from God. 656 00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,848 Miss Ouiser, Daddy isn't trying to drive you crazy. 657 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,558 He's just trying to make my reception nice. 658 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,602 His heart's in the right place. 659 00:30:12,686 --> 00:30:15,354 Ouiser, I know for a fact 660 00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,981 there will be no more gunshots. 661 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,025 He was going to fire a gun at me. 662 00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,151 They're blanks. 663 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:23,237 Drum would never point a gun at a lady. 664 00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:25,615 He's a real gentleman. 665 00:30:25,699 --> 00:30:28,743 I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it. 666 00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:39,337 Who the hell are you? 667 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,715 Uh... Annelle. 668 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:43,674 This is my new... 669 00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:44,675 Fine. 670 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,011 Now I know everybody in this town. 671 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,014 And I don't recall having seen you before. 672 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:53,351 I just moved into town not too long ago. 673 00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,520 With your family? 674 00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:57,688 I don't have any family to speak of. 675 00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,106 Your husband? 676 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,361 My husband? 677 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:05,029 Yes. 678 00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:08,407 Well, that's kind of hard to say. 679 00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:09,075 I, uh... 680 00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:11,619 I don't know. 681 00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,829 You don't know? 682 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,289 Well, I'm not sure. 683 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:16,749 You're not sure? 684 00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:19,710 I'm intrigued. Are you married or not? 685 00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,088 These are not difficult questions. 686 00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:28,636 Well... we're... 687 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,597 I can't talk about it. 688 00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:33,140 Of course you can. 689 00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:38,479 Well, I'm not sure if I'm married or not. 690 00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:39,772 He's gone. 691 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,400 Men are the most horrible creatures, honey. 692 00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,443 They will ruin your life, mark my words. 693 00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:46,571 Everything is horrible. 694 00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:50,866 Bunky- that's my husband... He just vanished last week. 695 00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:53,869 He took all the money, my jewelry, the car. 696 00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:56,205 Most of my clothes were in the trunk. 697 00:31:56,290 --> 00:31:58,165 He's in big trouble with the law. 698 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,375 Mm-hmm. 699 00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:00,918 Drugs or something. 700 00:32:01,003 --> 00:32:05,256 The police keep questioning me, but I don't know anything. 701 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:08,843 They say that our marriage may not be legal. 702 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,929 Well, I wish you'd have said something. 703 00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:13,389 I was scared to. 704 00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:16,434 I need a job in the worst way. 705 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:20,104 I didn't know if you would hire someone who may or may not be married 706 00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:23,482 to someone who might be a dangerous criminal. 707 00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:25,484 But, Miss Truvy, I swear to you, 708 00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:29,989 my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. 709 00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,199 Of course it won't. 710 00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,786 I really don't think things could get any worse. 711 00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,455 Of course they can. 712 00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:39,498 We are awful. 713 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,709 We are all hateful, awful people. 714 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,753 Here all we've been talking about 715 00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:45,796 is weddings and psychotic animals. 716 00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:48,424 What can we do to help? 717 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:49,675 I know one thing. 718 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,218 Drop by this afternoon. 719 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,721 You're going to have some bleeding armadillo groom's cake. 720 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,056 [M'Lynn] Oh, yes, you must. 721 00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:59,060 Oh, no, I couldn't. I still get real emotional sometimes. 722 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,645 Not today you won't. 723 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,480 It's going to be a great party. 724 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:05,650 Well, I don't have anything to wear. 725 00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,319 I'll bet I have something that will do. 726 00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:09,654 I'll call the house. 727 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,572 Uh, thanks. 728 00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:17,912 All right. Load me up. 729 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,334 Ready? All right. 730 00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:25,252 We're ready. 731 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,337 All right. 732 00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:27,838 Are you ready? 733 00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,507 Stand back. Here we go. 734 00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:37,181 Whoa! 735 00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,766 Aah! Aah! 736 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:39,684 [Woof Woof] 737 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,769 What the hell is that? 738 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,361 You got them real nice, Dad! 739 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:51,821 You nailed them! 740 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:52,863 Yeah! Yeah! 741 00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,034 I hope no one was hurt. 742 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,953 Shelby, get my things. 743 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:05,251 Rhett! 744 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:09,964 Miss Ouiser, that dog will eat Daddy alive. 745 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,966 Ohh, no! 746 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,552 Ouiser, talk to him! He'll listen to you! 747 00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:17,304 Please! It's my wedding day. Say something! 748 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,432 Kill, Rhett! Kill! 749 00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,559 Daddy, we're coming! 750 00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:24,145 Bite him in the balls! 751 00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,901 [Organ Plays "Because"] 752 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:44,165 ♪ Because God made thee mine ♪ 753 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:49,003 ♪ I'll cherish thee ♪ 754 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:52,047 ♪ Through light and darkness ♪ 755 00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:56,385 ♪ Through all time we'll be ♪ 756 00:34:56,470 --> 00:35:00,014 ♪ And pray his love ♪ 757 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,766 ♪ Will make our love divine ♪ 758 00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:02,850 Sorry. 759 00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:11,317 ♪ Because God ♪ 760 00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:19,533 ♪ Made thee mine ♪♪ 761 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,707 I'm sorry. 762 00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:28,834 [Playing The "Wedding March"] 763 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,046 Now. 764 00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,548 Shelby. 765 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,927 Shelby, it's time. 766 00:35:38,011 --> 00:35:44,391 Daddy, it's time. 767 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,643 It's time. 768 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:46,852 It's time! 769 00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:20,052 Grrr. 770 00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:57,131 Who gives this woman in marriage? 771 00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,967 Her mother and I do! 772 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,970 [Guests Laughing] 773 00:37:07,309 --> 00:37:09,768 Dearly beloved... 774 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:16,609 ♪ I know a barber shop way across town ♪ 775 00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,320 ♪ Down on North Walker street ♪ 776 00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,907 ♪ It's the loneliest place on a Saturday night... ♪ 777 00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,743 This has been the happiest day of my life, Daddy. 778 00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,244 Oh, I'm glad, sugar. 779 00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:29,705 I'm not talking too loud, am I? 780 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,498 No, you're fine. 781 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,501 Shelby loves you very much. 782 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:36,921 I hope so. 783 00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:40,758 It cost me 60 bucks to rent this sucker. 784 00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,718 I-I'm being serious. 785 00:37:42,802 --> 00:37:44,303 So am I. 786 00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,889 I got the receipt right here. 787 00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:50,184 Could I say this, please? 788 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,772 Shelby is so happy. 789 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:57,900 I know when you're young 790 00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,861 it seems like everything will always be perfect. 791 00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:02,655 Maybe it will be. 792 00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:07,242 Promise me you'll think about it 793 00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:10,204 before you make any big decisions about family. 794 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,415 I know what you're saying. 795 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:14,541 Good. 796 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:18,963 ♪ Never won't come, come, come ♪ 797 00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:22,466 ♪ If you don't 7-11, dice ♪ 798 00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,469 ♪ I'm done, done, done ♪ 799 00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:28,555 ♪ Now if I see the police before he sees me ♪ 800 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,892 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run ♪ 801 00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:35,396 ♪ 'Cause I'm the leader of society♪ 802 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,816 ♪ Since I got mine... ♪♪ 803 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,826 What can I get you? 804 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,869 Nothing. No, thanks. 805 00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,455 You sure? It's free. 806 00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:54,665 Oh? 807 00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,750 Come on. What will it be? 808 00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,294 A cherry Coke. 809 00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,379 Sure. 810 00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:07,052 So, are you a friend of the bride or the groom? 811 00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,265 Neither. Sh-Shelby invited me. 812 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,350 I don't know why I'm here. 813 00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:15,060 I'm Sammy. 814 00:39:15,145 --> 00:39:19,732 And this here's the best cherry Coke in the history of the world. 815 00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,077 Can I help you, sir? 816 00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:42,713 That Jackson, he is one big hangin' man. 817 00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,214 Yes, I know. 818 00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:46,967 Nancy Beth, come along. 819 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:50,095 Calories, calories. 820 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:52,765 I don't like Belle Marmillion. 821 00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:56,477 I don't trust anybody that does their own hair. I don't think it's normal. 822 00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:59,438 She's the best volunteer we have at the mental guidance center. 823 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,398 She's so good with troubled children. 824 00:40:01,483 --> 00:40:04,568 Wish I'd have taken Louie there and got him straightened out. 825 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,946 Even his imaginary playmates wouldn't play with him. 826 00:40:08,031 --> 00:40:11,658 Oh, Truvy, your boy grew up fine. He's just a little scary. 827 00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:16,789 I just think it'd be fun to have access to all that secret personal information. 828 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,624 Oh, come on, M'Lynn. 829 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,085 Tell me some of your most bizarre cases, 830 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,087 and let me see if I can figure out who they are. 831 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,421 No. 832 00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:26,423 There's some pretty sick tickets in this town. 833 00:40:26,508 --> 00:40:28,425 I will do no such thing. Cut that out. 834 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,468 You old fuddy-duddy. 835 00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:32,554 ["Rock And Roll" Plays] 836 00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,900 I'm not speaking to you. 837 00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:47,277 Oh, what a shame. 838 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:49,446 I mean it, Drum. 839 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:52,783 Can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake? 840 00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:03,085 Thanks, Ouiser. 841 00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:05,420 Nothing like a good piece of ass. 842 00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:12,886 Clairee, you know I'd rather walk on my lips than to criticize anybody. 843 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:16,390 But... Janice Van Meter. 844 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,683 I know. 845 00:41:17,767 --> 00:41:21,103 I bet money she's paid $500 for that dress 846 00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,188 and don't even bother to wear a girdle. 847 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:26,984 Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket. 848 00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:34,283 I haven't left the house without Lycra on these thighs since I was 14. 849 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,034 You were brought up right. 850 00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,494 Congratulations, Drum. 851 00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,163 Big day, isn't it? 852 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,582 Grrr. 853 00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:46,461 Ouiser? Ouiser, there's someone I'd like you to meet. 854 00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:48,463 That looks like an autopsy. 855 00:41:48,548 --> 00:41:52,217 This is Jackson's Aunt Fern Thornton. 856 00:41:52,302 --> 00:41:54,261 From Alexandria. 857 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,263 She made the cake. 858 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:57,764 You did this? 859 00:41:57,849 --> 00:41:59,808 Guilty. 860 00:41:59,893 --> 00:42:01,727 Well, it's very simple, really. 861 00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,520 It just takes patience. 862 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,772 You only do armadillos? 863 00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:08,901 No. I can do anything... except snakes. 864 00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:11,028 I don't have the counter space. 865 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:13,155 ♪ Son of a gun, we're gonna have big fun ♪ 866 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,365 ♪ On the bayou ♪ 867 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,201 ♪ Whoa, jambalaya and a crawfish pie ♪ 868 00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,411 ♪And a fillet gumbo ♪ 869 00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:23,207 ♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪ 870 00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:25,292 ♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar♪ 871 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:26,877 ♪And be gay-o ♪ 872 00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,879 ♪ Son of a gun, gonna have some fun ♪ 873 00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:30,964 ♪ On the bayou ♪ 874 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,399 ♪ Thibodaux, Fontaineaux♪ 875 00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:50,734 ♪ This place is buzzin'♪ 876 00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:54,404 ♪ Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozen ♪ 877 00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:58,075 ♪ Dress in style, go hog wild, me oh my oh ♪ 878 00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:59,952 ♪ Son of a gun, gonna have big fun ♪ 879 00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:01,745 ♪ On the bayou ♪ 880 00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,747 ♪ Oh, jambalaya and a crawfish pie ♪ 881 00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:05,916 ♪And fillet gumbo ♪ 882 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,253 ♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪ 883 00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:11,129 ♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar♪ 884 00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,048 ♪And be gay-o ♪ 885 00:43:13,132 --> 00:43:14,258 ♪ Son of a gun ♪ 886 00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,802 ♪ Gonna have big fun on the bayou ♪ 887 00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,512 ♪Jambalaya and a crawfish pie ♪ 888 00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,389 ♪A fillet gumbo ♪ 889 00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:24,434 ♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪ 890 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:25,894 ♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar♪ 891 00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:27,688 ♪And be gay-o ♪ 892 00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:28,689 ♪ Son of a gun ♪ 893 00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:31,858 ♪ Gonna have big fun on the bayou ♪♪ 894 00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:40,450 Mama... help me. 895 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:55,507 Well, this is it. You're finally rid of me. 896 00:43:55,591 --> 00:44:00,220 Oh, I think you'll be back every now and then. 897 00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:03,223 Corsages are pretty stupid 898 00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:05,809 when you think about it, aren't they? 899 00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:09,604 You make Jackson Latcherie take good care of you. 900 00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:12,649 Mama, Jackson will take care of me. 901 00:44:12,734 --> 00:44:15,235 And I'll take care of him. 902 00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,405 And I'm not stupid. 903 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:21,575 I'll get my bags. 904 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,621 [Guests Cheering] [Horn Honking] 905 00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:29,124 [Gunshots] 906 00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:54,107 Well, the boys just brought the car around. 907 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,193 What did they do to it? 908 00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:00,113 Let me put it this way... 909 00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:05,118 If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set. 910 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:53,458 Truvy, are you leaving so early? 911 00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:56,878 Yeah. But I'll have sweet dreams with this under my pillow. 912 00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:58,839 I hope your husband feels better. 913 00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:00,424 He's going to be fine. 914 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:02,217 Say hello to Spud. I'll do it. 915 00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:04,428 I'm sure he's sorry he missed all this. 916 00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:07,222 Such a beautiful wedding. Thanks, Truvy. 917 00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:09,433 You're leaving so soon? 918 00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:33,790 Hi. 919 00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:35,208 Hello. 920 00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:40,714 Would you like a ride? 921 00:46:44,594 --> 00:46:47,012 I have new shoes. 922 00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:49,097 Have to break them in. 923 00:46:53,478 --> 00:46:56,646 Well, good night. It was a lovely day. 924 00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:57,981 Stop it. 925 00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:00,817 Walk me home, Clairee. 926 00:47:00,902 --> 00:47:02,944 You just live over there. 927 00:47:03,029 --> 00:47:05,739 I don't want to walk in that house by myself. 928 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,240 You watch the news. 929 00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,993 You know what kind of world we're living in. 930 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,161 Walk me home. 931 00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,829 Who's going to walk me home? 932 00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:14,623 You've got the flashlight. 933 00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,208 My car's parked over there. 934 00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:17,709 This is ridiculous. 935 00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:19,836 You're only a few feet away. 936 00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:21,880 Will you follow me? Follow me. 937 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,423 You're acting like a child. 938 00:47:23,508 --> 00:47:26,134 The older you get, the sillier you get. 939 00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:28,345 The older you get, the uglier you get. 940 00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:50,992 And last, but never least, 941 00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:54,037 Santa's most beautiful helper, 942 00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:56,039 this year's Miss Merry Christmas, 943 00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:58,708 Nancy Beth Marmillion! 944 00:48:05,841 --> 00:48:08,426 Get it while the getting's good! 945 00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:09,970 Best food in Louisiana! 946 00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:13,557 Blood, sweat, and tears go in every little bowlful. 947 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:14,641 Right, boys? 948 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,476 That's right, Truvy. 949 00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,729 1, 2, 3, 4... 950 00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,273 Shelby! 951 00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,817 Well, get your little country butt over here. 952 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:28,280 Were you trying to sneak by us without buying some of our jumbo shrimp? 953 00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,407 They're hot and spicy, just like Annelle. 954 00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,158 Truvy, stop. 955 00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:33,577 You should try one. 956 00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,495 We've already pulled their heads off. 957 00:48:35,580 --> 00:48:37,998 No, I'm just killing time. 958 00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:40,750 Jackson's found a firearm. We may never see him again. 959 00:48:40,835 --> 00:48:43,712 How about a glass of iced tea? It's the house wine of the South. 960 00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:44,879 Perfect. 961 00:48:44,964 --> 00:48:46,423 Oh, coming up. 962 00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:47,924 Bet your mama's happy 963 00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:50,594 you got home in time for the festival. 964 00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:52,846 I wouldn't miss the festival. How's your family? 965 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:56,016 Oh, fine. Spud's as outgoing as ever. 966 00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,143 Louie brought his girlfriend home, 967 00:48:58,227 --> 00:49:01,062 and the nicest thing I can say about her 968 00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,981 is all her tattoos are spelled correctly. 969 00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,441 Oh, Truvy. 970 00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,318 Get your money away. 971 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:07,611 Thanks. 972 00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:10,905 Well, my hair's not the only thing that's changed. 973 00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:12,449 So much has happened. 974 00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:15,493 After they finally put Bunky Dupuy behind bars 975 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,495 and I was rid of him, 976 00:49:17,580 --> 00:49:19,164 I went wild. 977 00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:21,499 I was running around drinking, smoking. 978 00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:23,460 Jezebel. 979 00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:26,338 Truvy helped me see the error of my ways. 980 00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,882 She gave me a place to live. 981 00:49:28,966 --> 00:49:30,425 Now I go to church. 982 00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:33,470 I've done guest lectures on beauty at the trade school. 983 00:49:33,554 --> 00:49:36,473 Annelle's become one of the hottest tickets in town. 984 00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:38,600 Oh, Truvy, hush. It's true. 985 00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:40,435 Well, I am enjoying the city more, 986 00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:43,188 and I'm so excited about this Christmas festival. 987 00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:46,232 There's a Messiah sing-along tomorrow. Oh, no! 988 00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,817 What's the matter? 989 00:49:47,902 --> 00:49:51,488 Oh, nobody move! My contact! Oh, no! 990 00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,697 Stay back! 991 00:49:52,782 --> 00:49:55,533 Wait, don't move! Can you back up, please? 992 00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:58,453 Hello, darlings. When did you get into town? 993 00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:01,498 This afternoon. Here, merry Christmas. 994 00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:02,624 Thank you. 995 00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:06,336 I've been trying to show Jackson everything. He's never been to the festival. 996 00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:09,172 Listen to the football game tonight. 997 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:10,840 Sure. What are we listening for? 998 00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,468 Me. Didn't your mama tell you? 999 00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:15,553 Mama never tells anyone anything. 1000 00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:18,723 I'm the color announcer for the Devils. I'm fabulous. 1001 00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:21,184 I'm just too colorful for words. 1002 00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,019 Nice of them to let you talk on the radio. 1003 00:50:23,104 --> 00:50:27,023 Nice, nothing. I own the radio station. 1004 00:50:27,108 --> 00:50:28,525 You bought it! 1005 00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:33,738 Yes. KPPD, the station of choice in Chinquapin Parish. 1006 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:36,658 Mrs. Belcher, we got to go! The kickoff! Bye! 1007 00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:41,579 [Radio: Announcer] This has been an extremely hard-fought football game, 1008 00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:44,666 considering the fact that the Dry Prong lines 1009 00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:47,877 don't seem to have the kind of depth that Chinquapin has. 1010 00:50:47,962 --> 00:50:51,256 [TV Continues] 1011 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,258 Well? 1012 00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:56,219 Nope. 1013 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,304 Rolly Bassett got the contract. 1014 00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:01,057 His bid was 6,000 under mine. 1015 00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:02,767 6,000. 1016 00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:07,397 Well, he owns all his own equipment, and I don't. 1017 00:51:10,151 --> 00:51:13,153 It's hell to be poor and hired out. 1018 00:51:14,447 --> 00:51:17,365 Well, I have got some fried chicken here, prepared by Christian women, 1019 00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,410 a bottle of cheap wine, 1020 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,997 and I've arranged for some pretty incredible fireworks. 1021 00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:27,417 Oh, come on, Spud. 1022 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,419 I don't want to miss 1023 00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:32,505 the nativity made entirely out of sparklers. 1024 00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:35,091 I don't feel much like it. 1025 00:51:35,176 --> 00:51:38,178 Well, you will once we get there. 1026 00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,347 I'm happy where I am. 1027 00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,725 Spud. 1028 00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,937 We always watch the fireworks. 1029 00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,690 Whoa. That's the ball game. Final score... 1030 00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:53,777 This is KPPD Radio, 1031 00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:56,237 station of choice in Chinquapin Parish, 1032 00:51:56,322 --> 00:52:00,200 coming to you live from the Devils' locker room. 1033 00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:05,079 This is Bark Boone with color announcer Clairee Belcher. 1034 00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,539 Thank you, Bark. 1035 00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:10,126 You know, Bark, it's a shame our listeners can't be here 1036 00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:14,255 to see the gorgeous new Devil uniforms. 1037 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,800 Uh... they're lovely. 1038 00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:18,635 I would never have chosen those white pants. 1039 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,429 They're filthy. I would have gone with a darker color. 1040 00:52:21,514 --> 00:52:24,349 White shows everything. Just look at those grass stains. 1041 00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,059 Impossible to get out. 1042 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,478 It's hard to keep white clean when you're tackled. 1043 00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:32,106 But I love the tops, such a vibrant purple. 1044 00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:35,318 Would you call this color grape or aubergine? 1045 00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:36,820 Shut up. 1046 00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:37,987 What? 1047 00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:40,698 You're making a fool out of yourself, Clairee. 1048 00:52:40,783 --> 00:52:41,908 I am not. 1049 00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:43,535 This is football. 1050 00:52:43,619 --> 00:52:46,704 All the people want to hear about is touchdowns and injuries. 1051 00:52:46,789 --> 00:52:49,749 They don't give a damn about that grape shit. 1052 00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:53,628 We have this new psychiatrist that comes in two days a week. 1053 00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:57,173 Of course, I pick her name out of the grab bag. 1054 00:52:57,258 --> 00:53:01,094 I got to get her something. Put that on the list. 1055 00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:04,097 I have no idea what to get your father. 1056 00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:07,767 What's Jackson giving you? Do you know? 1057 00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,602 Furniture. 1058 00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:12,689 Furniture? Well, my. 1059 00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:16,860 Must be nice to be married to a rich lawyer. 1060 00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,945 What's it for, the living room? 1061 00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,781 No. For the nursery. 1062 00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:27,745 We wanted to tell you 1063 00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:30,039 when you and Daddy were together, but you're never together, 1064 00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:33,084 so... it's every man for himself. 1065 00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:36,462 I'm pregnant. 1066 00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:40,967 I realize that. 1067 00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:46,222 Well, is that it? 1068 00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,975 Is that all you're going to say? 1069 00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:52,437 What do you want me to say? 1070 00:53:53,606 --> 00:53:56,149 Well, something along the lines of "congratulations." 1071 00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:00,486 Congratulations. 1072 00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,959 Would it be too much to ask... 1073 00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:18,671 for a little excitement? 1074 00:54:18,756 --> 00:54:21,966 Not too much. I wouldn't want you to break a sweat or anything. 1075 00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,015 It's in July. 1076 00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:34,687 Oh, Mama. 1077 00:54:35,814 --> 00:54:37,690 You have to help me plan. 1078 00:54:39,902 --> 00:54:41,736 We're going to get a new house. 1079 00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:44,781 Jackson and I are going house hunting next week. 1080 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,950 Jackson loves to hunt for anything. 1081 00:54:47,034 --> 00:54:49,285 What does Jackson say about all this? 1082 00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:50,995 He's so excited. 1083 00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:54,415 He says he doesn't care whether it's a boy or a girl, 1084 00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:58,503 but I know he really wants a son so bad he can taste it. 1085 00:55:00,047 --> 00:55:04,342 He's really cute about the whole thing. It's all he talks about... Jackson Latcherie, Jr. 1086 00:55:04,426 --> 00:55:05,802 Does he ever listen? 1087 00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:09,180 I mean, when doctors and specialists give you advice, 1088 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,682 does he listen? 1089 00:55:10,766 --> 00:55:12,725 I know you never do. Does he? 1090 00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,729 Huh? 1091 00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,065 What? 1092 00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,653 Well, I guess since he doesn't have to carry the baby, 1093 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:25,989 it really isn't any of his concern. 1094 00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:27,448 Mama. 1095 00:55:28,993 --> 00:55:31,494 I want a child. 1096 00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:34,789 What about adoption? You filled out all the applications. 1097 00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:37,458 Mama, no judge is going to give a baby 1098 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,420 to someone with my medical record. 1099 00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:44,465 Jackson even put out feelers about buying one. 1100 00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,384 People do it all the time. 1101 00:55:48,971 --> 00:55:50,763 Listen to me. 1102 00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,767 I want a child of my own. 1103 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,191 I think it would help things a lot. 1104 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,036 I see. 1105 00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:28,092 Mama, you worry too much. 1106 00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:33,681 In fact, I never worry, 'cause I always know you're worrying enough for both of us. 1107 00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:42,231 Jackson and I have given this a lot of thought. 1108 00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:44,650 Has he really? There's a first time for everything. 1109 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,611 Don't start on Jackson, Mama. 1110 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:49,197 Your poor body has been through so much. 1111 00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:51,157 Why deliberately do this to yourself? 1112 00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,701 Diabetics have healthy babies all the time. 1113 00:56:53,786 --> 00:56:55,161 You are special, Shelby. 1114 00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:58,289 There are limits to what you can do. 1115 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,340 I'm going to be... 1116 00:57:08,342 --> 00:57:10,176 very, very careful. 1117 00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,012 Nobody's going to be hurt 1118 00:57:13,097 --> 00:57:16,099 or disappointed or even inconvenienced. 1119 00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,352 Least of all Jackson, I'm sure. 1120 00:57:23,524 --> 00:57:24,774 You're jealous... 1121 00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:28,611 because you no longer have a say-so in what I do, 1122 00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:30,947 and that drives you up the wall. 1123 00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:36,452 You're ready to spit nails because you can't call the shots. 1124 00:57:36,537 --> 00:57:41,040 I did not raise my daughter to talk to me like this. 1125 00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:45,795 Yes, you did. Oh, no, I didn't. 1126 00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:50,133 Whenever any of us asked you what you wanted for us when we grew up, what did you say? 1127 00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:52,635 I'm not in the mood to play games. 1128 00:57:52,719 --> 00:57:53,970 Just tell me what you said. 1129 00:57:54,054 --> 00:57:57,723 The only thing I have ever said to you is that I want you to be happy. 1130 00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:01,144 Okay. The one thing that would make me happy 1131 00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:03,813 is to have a baby. 1132 00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:07,859 If I could adopt one, I would, but I can't. 1133 00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:11,112 I'm going to have a baby, 1134 00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:14,157 and I wish you'd be happy, too. 1135 00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,201 I'll tell you what I wish. 1136 00:58:18,871 --> 00:58:21,247 I don't know what I wish. 1137 00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:27,420 Mama, I don't know why you have to make everything so difficult. 1138 00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:33,593 I look at having this baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. 1139 00:58:33,677 --> 00:58:36,095 Sure, there may be risk involved, 1140 00:58:36,180 --> 00:58:39,098 but that's true for anybody. 1141 00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:42,268 But you get through it, and life goes on. 1142 00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:45,229 When it's all said and done, there'll be a little piece of immortality 1143 00:58:45,314 --> 00:58:49,150 with Jackson's good looks and my sense of style, I hope. 1144 00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,820 Please. 1145 00:58:54,323 --> 00:58:56,324 I need your support. 1146 00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:01,787 I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful 1147 00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:04,540 than a lifetime of nothing special. 1148 00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:23,935 Okay. All right. I'm going to hand it to you. 1149 00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:25,728 I don't want to hit you upside the head. 1150 00:59:25,854 --> 00:59:28,814 I got one hole left. Right. 1151 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,816 Put the cords behind the pole. 1152 00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:32,443 If they show, it'll look tacky. 1153 00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:34,487 You told me about 40 times. 1154 00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,617 Annelle, did you do all this? 1155 00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:41,369 Guilty. 1156 00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:45,081 Truvy just turned over the decoration responsibility to me. 1157 00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:47,291 Look. I went to the fire sale 1158 00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:49,669 at the Baptist book store in Shreveport last week. 1159 00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:53,089 They had mismatched manger scenes at incredibly low prices. 1160 00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:55,091 I cleaned them out of baby Jesuses, 1161 00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:57,343 which I made into ornaments. 1162 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,427 She's ready to roll. 1163 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,304 Would you do the honors? 1164 01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:05,768 Yeah. Here you are, Mrs. Latcherie. 1165 01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:06,978 Thanks, Sammy. 1166 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,772 Ready? 1167 01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:11,607 ♪ Down in Louisiana ♪ 1168 01:00:11,692 --> 01:00:13,651 ♪ We have a Cajun Christmas... ♪♪ 1169 01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:16,279 Annelle, it's wonderful. 1170 01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,697 It works! 1171 01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:20,116 How cute. 1172 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,661 I think your elves have gone berserk. 1173 01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:24,662 Well, Shelby, 1174 01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,706 I wasn't expecting to see you. 1175 01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,666 What can I do for you? 1176 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:31,210 I'm running a special called a Christmas quickie. 1177 01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:32,670 I'm beyond help. 1178 01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:36,299 Last week I discovered the early stages of crow's feet. 1179 01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:37,967 Honey, time marches on. 1180 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,678 Eventually you realize it's marching across your face. 1181 01:00:40,762 --> 01:00:41,721 Oh, no. 1182 01:00:41,805 --> 01:00:43,389 It's Miss Ouiser. 1183 01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:50,396 I'm supposed to give her a pedicure today. 1184 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,356 I hate working on her feet. 1185 01:00:52,441 --> 01:00:54,233 It could have been worse. 1186 01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:56,819 She could have wanted a bikini waxing. 1187 01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,571 Let's not get graphic. 1188 01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,655 Why not? 1189 01:00:59,740 --> 01:01:03,034 Miss Ouiser, I met an old friend of yours. 1190 01:01:03,118 --> 01:01:04,076 Oh? 1191 01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:05,578 Owen Jenkins. 1192 01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:06,829 Oh. 1193 01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:10,374 Owen. Now, there's a blast from the past. 1194 01:01:10,459 --> 01:01:11,334 Do you remember him? 1195 01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:12,877 He remembers you. 1196 01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:16,881 He had the longest nose hair in the free world. 1197 01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:18,841 Now he hardly has any hair anywhere. 1198 01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,886 Owen's been gone from Chinquapin Parish since God was a boy. 1199 01:01:21,970 --> 01:01:23,346 I'd forgotten he'd existed. 1200 01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:26,223 He lives in Monroe and goes to First Presbyterian. 1201 01:01:26,308 --> 01:01:29,518 He asked if I knew you. 1202 01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:31,562 He used to live in Ohio somewhere. 1203 01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:35,024 His wife just died, and he's moved back down here. 1204 01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:38,652 Does this story have a point? 1205 01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:41,822 No, not really. He just remembers you fondly, I think. 1206 01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:43,866 I can't imagine why. 1207 01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:47,578 He was not a bad fellow, but I managed to run him off 1208 01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:49,914 and marry the first of two total deadbeats. 1209 01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,123 Maybe sometime I could arrange 1210 01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,501 for us all to get together. 1211 01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:54,502 Maybe not. 1212 01:01:54,586 --> 01:01:56,545 Why not? 1213 01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,714 Shelby, I managed in a few decades 1214 01:01:58,799 --> 01:02:01,258 to marry the two most worthless men in the universe 1215 01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:05,971 and then proceeded to have the three most ungrateful children ever conceived. 1216 01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,224 The only reason people are nice to me 1217 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,810 is because I have more money than God. 1218 01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:13,604 I'm not about to open a new can of worms. 1219 01:02:13,688 --> 01:02:14,814 Ouiser. 1220 01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,232 What? 1221 01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:19,276 If this is how you feel, it isn't healthy. 1222 01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,904 Maybe you should come to the guidance center 1223 01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:23,823 and talk to someone. We're there to help. 1224 01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,408 I'm not crazy, M'Lynn. 1225 01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:26,867 I've just been 1226 01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:30,121 in a very bad mood for 40 years. 1227 01:02:30,205 --> 01:02:32,039 [Doorbell Rings] 1228 01:02:32,124 --> 01:02:35,501 Hi. 1229 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,502 Merry Christmas. 1230 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:38,003 Oh, look at you. 1231 01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,505 Is that new? 1232 01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:43,008 I made the dress with my own two hands. 1233 01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,969 I just threw the rest together. 1234 01:02:45,053 --> 01:02:48,472 The only thing that separates us from the animals 1235 01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:50,474 is our ability to accessorize. 1236 01:02:50,559 --> 01:02:51,517 Oh. 1237 01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,936 Annelle, why are you so late? 1238 01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:57,481 Did you and Sammy get tangled up in the tinsel? 1239 01:02:57,566 --> 01:02:59,316 Truvy. You kill me. 1240 01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:00,401 Merry Christmas. 1241 01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:01,819 Oh! Thank you. 1242 01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,820 Merry Christmas. 1243 01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:03,863 Oh, darling. 1244 01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,282 I have to tell you your nephew Marshall 1245 01:03:06,366 --> 01:03:08,784 is a little piece of heaven on earth. 1246 01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:10,536 They're family, and I love them, 1247 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,539 but they do look carved out of cream cheese. 1248 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,960 Clairee, I'm surprised at you 1249 01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:20,463 talking about your kin that way. 1250 01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:22,339 Well, as somebody always said, 1251 01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:24,717 if you can't say anything nice about anybody, 1252 01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:26,260 come sit by me. 1253 01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:27,803 That's a good one. 1254 01:03:31,183 --> 01:03:32,141 Miss Ouiser. 1255 01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:33,100 What? 1256 01:03:33,185 --> 01:03:35,561 There's somebody that wants to see you. 1257 01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,562 Who? 1258 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:39,356 I've opened the can of worms for you. 1259 01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,149 What? 1260 01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:42,943 Hell. 1261 01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:44,820 Owen Jenkins. 1262 01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,573 Hello, Louisa. Remember me? 1263 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:51,327 My God, you look different. Have you shrunk? 1264 01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,997 You look terrific. 1265 01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,916 You've hardly changed at all. 1266 01:03:57,709 --> 01:03:59,835 I'm not as sweet as I used to be. 1267 01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:10,846 ♪Jesus Lord, at thy birth... ♪♪ 1268 01:04:10,931 --> 01:04:13,057 I cannot believe Shelby did that. 1269 01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,350 Owen... 1270 01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:16,310 After all these years. 1271 01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:18,979 I'm not sure I can be gracious under pressure. 1272 01:04:19,064 --> 01:04:22,441 Shelby does a lot of things I can't believe. 1273 01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:24,527 M'Lynn, what's wrong with you these days? 1274 01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,612 You got a reindeer up your butt? 1275 01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,698 Everybody! Tommy, get all these people outside. 1276 01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,700 Come on, everybody. 1277 01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,577 My dad's going to say something. 1278 01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:38,040 I just want a moment of your time, folks, now. 1279 01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,586 Today my daughter... 1280 01:04:42,671 --> 01:04:44,171 told me a big secret. 1281 01:04:44,256 --> 01:04:45,422 Daddy. 1282 01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:48,509 Don't worry. I'm not going to tell them you're pregnant. 1283 01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:51,762 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1284 01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:54,890 I'm just going to tell them I'm going to be a granddaddy. 1285 01:04:54,975 --> 01:04:57,768 Oh. That's wonderful. 1286 01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:05,484 Oh, Grandma! 1287 01:05:05,569 --> 01:05:07,278 Congratulations. 1288 01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:09,572 Well, ain't you excited? 1289 01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:12,074 Smile. It increases your face value. 1290 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:15,077 And the doctor said Shelby couldn't have children. 1291 01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:17,496 Yeah. What do they know? She showed them. 1292 01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:20,374 They said she shouldn't have children. 1293 01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:21,667 There's a big difference. 1294 01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:26,505 This baby is not exactly great news. 1295 01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:27,339 Jackson and Shelby. 1296 01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:29,341 [Cheering] 1297 01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,014 Oh, M'Lynn, I really wish 1298 01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:38,851 I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. 1299 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:42,271 Why don't we focus on the joy of the situation? 1300 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,273 It'll be fine. 1301 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,066 Absolutely. 1302 01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:49,945 You know what they say... 1303 01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:53,532 That which does not kill us makes us stronger. 1304 01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:04,627 Nothing pleases Shelby more than proving me wrong. 1305 01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:15,804 Oh, and to my new grandbaby... 1306 01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:19,725 May he be as good-looking as I am. 1307 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,861 ♪ Born on the third of July ♪ 1308 01:06:30,945 --> 01:06:35,032 ♪ He's a Yankee Doodle sweetheart ♪ 1309 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:38,202 ♪ He's a Yankee Doodle boy ♪ 1310 01:06:38,286 --> 01:06:40,496 ♪ Yankee Doodle went to London ♪ 1311 01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,622 ♪Just to ride the ponies ♪ 1312 01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:44,541 ♪ He is a Yankee Doodle boy ♪♪ 1313 01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:45,459 Whoo! 1314 01:06:45,543 --> 01:06:48,504 Go ahead. Blow it out, buddy. 1315 01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:50,839 This is boring as hell. 1316 01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:52,883 You only have your first birthday once. 1317 01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:54,593 Little buddy's making a wish. 1318 01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:56,804 I wish he'd just blow out the candle. 1319 01:06:56,888 --> 01:06:58,514 I can't stand this. 1320 01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,599 Don't you dare. 1321 01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,226 Come on. Look. Look. 1322 01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:03,686 Here we go. 1323 01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:05,270 1... 2... 3... 1324 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,525 Yay. Yay. 1325 01:07:09,609 --> 01:07:10,901 Happy birthday. 1326 01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:16,240 I'll be back from Truvy's in about an hour. 1327 01:07:16,324 --> 01:07:17,700 Anything you want? 1328 01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:20,202 I think I'll come with you. 1329 01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:22,705 I want to get my hair cut. 1330 01:07:22,789 --> 01:07:25,207 Short. And I want Truvy to do it. 1331 01:07:25,291 --> 01:07:27,710 It's easier to take care of. 1332 01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:31,755 I'd love to be able to run my fingers through it and go. 1333 01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,716 I think that would be precious. 1334 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:38,220 I feel the need to make things as simple as possible. 1335 01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,347 Let me go tell Jackson. 1336 01:07:49,441 --> 01:07:50,524 Shelby. 1337 01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:53,902 Shelby, I just can't seem to find the wipes. 1338 01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,530 They're in my bag. Is he wet? 1339 01:07:56,614 --> 01:07:57,573 He's muddy. 1340 01:07:57,657 --> 01:07:59,908 Miss Clairee, finish about your nephew. 1341 01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:01,869 Get to the good stuff. 1342 01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:03,412 Well, I have to admit, 1343 01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,373 Marshall did go about it the wrong way. 1344 01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:07,833 He marched in, 1345 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:11,336 and without so much as a hello, he said, 1346 01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,506 "Mama and Daddy, I have something to tell you. 1347 01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:16,508 "I have a brain tumor. 1348 01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,510 I have three months to live." 1349 01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:21,430 Well, naturally, Drew and Belle became hysterical. 1350 01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:24,516 Then he said, "Hey, folks, I'm only kidding. 1351 01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:26,477 I'm just gay." 1352 01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,980 That was his idea of breaking the news gently? 1353 01:08:30,064 --> 01:08:31,982 Marshall was always very theatrical. 1354 01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:35,778 I wonder what Drew and Belle must be feeling about this. 1355 01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,613 I don't know. 1356 01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:41,617 They have considered themselves a model family for so long. 1357 01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:42,785 First Nancy Beth dethroned 1358 01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:45,120 from her Miss Merry Christmas title 1359 01:08:45,205 --> 01:08:48,207 because of that unfortunate motel thing. 1360 01:08:48,291 --> 01:08:51,460 What motel thing? I don't live here anymore. Remember? 1361 01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:54,797 Nancy Beth was discovered in a local motel 1362 01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,882 with a high political official. 1363 01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,592 They were both high. 1364 01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,969 They'd been smoking everything but their shoes. 1365 01:09:01,054 --> 01:09:03,806 She's the first Miss Merry Christmas in history 1366 01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:06,975 to be caught with her tinsel down around her knees. 1367 01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:11,855 Well, speaking of drawers, hang on to yours. 1368 01:09:11,940 --> 01:09:12,815 Ta-da! 1369 01:09:25,328 --> 01:09:26,829 Oh, gosh. 1370 01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:28,997 Oh, you don't like it. 1371 01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:31,583 I did what you asked me, didn't I? 1372 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,585 Yes, Truvy, you did a beautiful job. 1373 01:09:35,213 --> 01:09:36,922 Well, it's just that... 1374 01:09:38,383 --> 01:09:39,758 Oh, sweetheart, don't. 1375 01:09:39,843 --> 01:09:42,261 Please don't cry, or I will, too. 1376 01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,221 I have a strict policy 1377 01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,682 that nobody cries alone in my presence. 1378 01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:48,600 I love it. 1379 01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:52,521 Yeah. 1380 01:09:58,570 --> 01:09:59,862 Okay. 1381 01:10:01,573 --> 01:10:05,617 Well, now, Truvy, let's do my nails. 1382 01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:07,119 This is a treat. 1383 01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,538 Nobody around here ever wants a manicure. 1384 01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:13,542 I don't think I would even know what to charge for a full day's beauty. 1385 01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:15,294 I'll need one, too. 1386 01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:17,296 I'm going to paint my front door red 1387 01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,965 and change my name to Elizabeth Arden. 1388 01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:25,679 Amen. 1389 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,391 Annelle, I'm going to need more cuticle oil. 1390 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:30,601 Is it still next... 1391 01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:31,894 Second shelf. 1392 01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:34,396 Was she praying? 1393 01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,772 Yes. 1394 01:10:35,857 --> 01:10:36,607 Why? 1395 01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:40,152 Got me. Maybe she was praying for Marshall and Drew and Belle. 1396 01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:43,572 Maybe for us 'cause we were gossiping. 1397 01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,241 Maybe because the elastic's shot in her panty hose. 1398 01:10:46,326 --> 01:10:49,077 She's prays at the drop of a hat these days. 1399 01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:50,579 How long has she been this way? 1400 01:10:50,663 --> 01:10:51,705 Since Mardi Gras. 1401 01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:55,709 She had her choice of going to a Bible weekend 1402 01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:59,296 or to New Orleans with me and two other sinners. 1403 01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:01,048 What does her boyfriend say? 1404 01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:02,841 Sammy's so confused, he don't know whether 1405 01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,844 to scratch his watch or wind his butt. 1406 01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:08,430 He says he could deal with another man, 1407 01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:13,602 but he's having trouble with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. 1408 01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:14,853 Ahem. 1409 01:11:14,938 --> 01:11:18,982 Oh, well, does Marshall have, you know, friends? 1410 01:11:19,067 --> 01:11:21,109 Well, we discussed that. 1411 01:11:21,194 --> 01:11:24,112 I asked him how he... met people. 1412 01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,114 In my day you could tell 1413 01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,116 by a man's carriage and demeanor 1414 01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:30,619 which side his bread was buttered on, 1415 01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:33,121 but in this day and age, who knows? 1416 01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:36,124 I asked Marshall, "How can you tell?" 1417 01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:39,169 And he said, "All gay men have track lighting, 1418 01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,629 "and all gay men 1419 01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:43,799 are named Mark, Rick or Steve." 1420 01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:46,802 Be a soft-spoken dog. 1421 01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,136 Morning. 1422 01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:51,139 What's so funny in there? 1423 01:11:51,224 --> 01:11:54,184 Clairee's just been telling us this true story of track lighting. 1424 01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:55,894 Oh, I love mine. 1425 01:11:57,397 --> 01:11:58,981 Highlights my new art work. 1426 01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:02,150 Since when do you have track lighting? 1427 01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:03,694 About three weeks. 1428 01:12:03,778 --> 01:12:07,239 It's in the foyer up the staircase. 1429 01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:09,157 My grandson's idea. 1430 01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,742 I haven't seen him in ages. 1431 01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:12,494 How is he? 1432 01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,662 Steve's fine. 1433 01:12:16,582 --> 01:12:17,749 Shelby. 1434 01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:21,503 Oh, God. Your hair is so short. 1435 01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:24,506 Why are you in such a good mood? 1436 01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:27,342 Did you run over a small child or something? 1437 01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:28,510 Tomatoes. 1438 01:12:28,594 --> 01:12:30,387 Don't give all these to me. 1439 01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,180 Somebody's got to take them. 1440 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,976 I try not to eat healthy food if I can possibly help it. 1441 01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,603 The sooner my body gives out, the better off I'll be. 1442 01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:42,024 I can't get enough grease into my diet. 1443 01:12:42,108 --> 01:12:43,692 Why do you grow them? 1444 01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:45,610 Because I'm an old Southern woman. 1445 01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:50,657 We're supposed to wear funny-looking hats and ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt. 1446 01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:54,202 Don't ask me those questions. 1447 01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:57,581 I don't know why. I don't make the rules. 1448 01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:01,043 [Burp] 1449 01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:03,045 Oh, now, that's attractive, Ouiser. 1450 01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:09,259 Hmm. Shelby. 1451 01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,888 Oh, honey, what have you done to yourself? 1452 01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:14,723 It doesn't hurt. 1453 01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:17,184 M'Lynn, have you seen this? 1454 01:13:19,854 --> 01:13:21,188 Yes, I have. 1455 01:13:22,190 --> 01:13:25,233 The doctor's just trying to strengthen my veins. 1456 01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:26,568 They're in terrible shape. 1457 01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:27,819 My God. 1458 01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:31,490 It looks like you've been driving nails up your arms. 1459 01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:33,742 What is going on? 1460 01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:36,161 Shall we tell them, Mama? 1461 01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:44,086 Well, I guess we can't keep it a secret any longer. 1462 01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:47,672 Shelby has been driving nails up her arm. 1463 01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:51,426 It's my dialysis. 1464 01:13:51,511 --> 01:13:53,011 It's no big thing. 1465 01:13:55,515 --> 01:13:57,265 Don't look at me like that. 1466 01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,601 Having Jack, Jr. Put too much strain on my kidneys. 1467 01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:02,479 Now they're kaput, that's all. 1468 01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,648 The doctor said this would probably happen. 1469 01:14:04,732 --> 01:14:06,233 That's all? 1470 01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,110 That's all, she says. 1471 01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:11,238 Do you do this dialysis forever? 1472 01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:13,532 Well, I could, I suppose, 1473 01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:16,243 but it's not real convenient when you're trying to keep up with Jack, Jr., 1474 01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:19,329 so I'll have a kidney transplant, I'll be fine. 1475 01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:21,665 Is it that easy? Sure. 1476 01:14:21,749 --> 01:14:25,127 They do three or four a week in Shreveport. 1477 01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:29,131 They do. Our Sunday school class was just praying for one the other day. 1478 01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:32,175 The hard part's finding the kidney, isn't it? 1479 01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:35,679 I saw something about it on TV... very dramatic. 1480 01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:38,682 These medical teams fly all over the place, 1481 01:14:38,766 --> 01:14:41,726 taking hearts, kidneys, and who knows what else. 1482 01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:42,936 What impressed me most 1483 01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,481 was they carry those organs in beer coolers. 1484 01:14:46,566 --> 01:14:48,358 Stop it. 1485 01:14:48,442 --> 01:14:49,818 Those doctors take out their six-packs, 1486 01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:53,155 throw in dry ice and a heart, and get on a plane. 1487 01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:55,699 How long do you have to wait for one? 1488 01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:59,244 There are people on dialysis that have been waiting for years. 1489 01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,997 That must be agony. 1490 01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,749 Well, I suppose, but I'm lucky. 1491 01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,710 I don't have to wait anymore. 1492 01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:11,089 Mama's going to give me one of her kidneys. 1493 01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:14,759 When? 1494 01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:16,970 We check in tomorrow morning. 1495 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:29,357 So you better get going on my nails. 1496 01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,901 Annelle, I'm dripping. 1497 01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:32,068 Sorry. 1498 01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,156 I shouldn't have said that. 1499 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,824 Said what? 1500 01:15:37,909 --> 01:15:39,284 Back at Truvy's. 1501 01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:43,788 When I said I'd be better off when my body wears out. 1502 01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:47,292 I shouldn't have said that in front of Shelby. 1503 01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,793 I didn't mean that. 1504 01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:52,172 Ouiser, nobody pays any attention to you. 1505 01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,841 But I feel bad, Clairee. 1506 01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,052 I'm a terrible person. 1507 01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:59,137 No, you're not. 1508 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:03,183 You'd give your dog a kidney if he needed one. 1509 01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:05,644 Yes. 1510 01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,987 Clairee, this is just a gesture. 1511 01:16:16,072 --> 01:16:19,532 We're not feeding Drum till the end of time. 1512 01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:23,536 Drum loves pork and beans. He eats them with everything. 1513 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:25,330 That explains a lot. 1514 01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:30,335 You're supposed to soak the red beans overnight. 1515 01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:32,963 But we don't have overnight. 1516 01:16:33,047 --> 01:16:36,383 I wanted to take it to them before they leave for the hospital. 1517 01:16:36,467 --> 01:16:38,301 Let's cook something else. 1518 01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:39,970 I bought all the stuff. 1519 01:16:40,054 --> 01:16:42,514 It's in the "Freezes Beautifully" section of my cookbook. 1520 01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:45,267 I want to take something that freezes beautifully. 1521 01:16:45,351 --> 01:16:47,894 Then we'll make red beans and rice. 1522 01:16:52,149 --> 01:16:55,193 Sammy Dwayne DeSoto, what is this in my Frigidaire? 1523 01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:58,697 Beer. 1524 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:02,951 I don't care what you do in your refrigerator, 1525 01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,704 but you will not keep liquor in mine. 1526 01:17:08,207 --> 01:17:11,876 Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sakes. 1527 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:13,753 Who? 1528 01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:15,338 Christ. 1529 01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,091 Who did you say? 1530 01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,135 Christ, Christ, Christ. 1531 01:17:20,219 --> 01:17:22,262 Are you speaking of Our Lord? 1532 01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:24,264 Is that whose name you're taking in vain? 1533 01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:26,141 That's the one. 1534 01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:28,601 Well, I am sorry, Sammy, 1535 01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:31,271 but I'm not about spend the next 50 years of my life 1536 01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:34,190 with someone who I'm not gonna run into in the hereafter. 1537 01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:36,151 Annelle, goddamn it! 1538 01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,737 I think we should pray. 1539 01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:40,864 Oh, I'd rather eat dirt. 1540 01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:45,869 Shelby says her half of the operation's easy. 1541 01:17:45,953 --> 01:17:47,912 I guess M'Lynn's is terrible. 1542 01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:50,957 They basically have to saw her in half 1543 01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:52,959 to get the kidney out. 1544 01:17:53,044 --> 01:17:56,963 Well, they always do it on Circus of the Stars. 1545 01:17:57,048 --> 01:17:59,007 Don't joke about it, Spud. 1546 01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:01,301 I feel awful for 'em. 1547 01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:02,969 Yeah, well. 1548 01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,557 I guess the Eatentons are lucky. 1549 01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:11,561 They all know how much they mean to each other. 1550 01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:13,021 Maybe I'm jealous. 1551 01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:16,024 Hand me that socket wrench, would you? 1552 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:18,068 Which one's a socket wrench? 1553 01:18:18,152 --> 01:18:20,904 The socket wrench, the socket wrench. 1554 01:18:20,988 --> 01:18:22,072 This funny-looking thing? 1555 01:18:22,156 --> 01:18:23,156 Thank you. 1556 01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:32,874 That's not funny. 1557 01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:34,876 Okay, no more transplant jokes. 1558 01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:36,419 Daddy doesn't like them. 1559 01:18:36,504 --> 01:18:37,879 Whose turn is it? 1560 01:18:37,963 --> 01:18:39,214 Oh, Mama. 1561 01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:40,548 Oh, yes? 1562 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,050 Give me all your... 1563 01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,927 internal organs. 1564 01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:46,179 Oh, I mean aces. 1565 01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,515 Gosh, Dad, I-I'm sorry. 1566 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:49,516 Yeah. 1567 01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,017 It just slipped out. 1568 01:18:51,102 --> 01:18:52,060 Go fish. 1569 01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,938 I'm going to put this little one to bed. 1570 01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:56,523 Mama, I'll do it. 1571 01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,066 No, no, no. Let me. 1572 01:18:58,150 --> 01:19:01,486 After tomorrow it'll be a long time before I can pick him up again. 1573 01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,488 So much for the card game. 1574 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,447 Movie! Movie! 1575 01:19:04,532 --> 01:19:06,491 It's old, in black and white. 1576 01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,951 Nothing dirty there. 1577 01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:09,994 I got it, a classic... 1578 01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,080 A Tale of Two Kidneys. 1579 01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:14,082 That's funny. 1580 01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:15,417 You think that's funny? 1581 01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:16,418 Yes. 1582 01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:17,919 That's not funny. 1583 01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:19,003 Oh. 1584 01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:23,091 I overslept 'cause I was up late cooking. 1585 01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:26,594 I've got to get these beans to the Eatentons, 1586 01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:29,597 and it's my Sunday to count the offering. 1587 01:19:29,682 --> 01:19:31,599 I just know I'm gonna miss church. 1588 01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,602 Cool down. I'll have to turn the hose on you. 1589 01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:36,604 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 1590 01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:39,941 Well, I know what you're gonna do. You are gonna get in this car. 1591 01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:44,154 We're going to drop those beans off at the Eatenton house. 1592 01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:46,656 Then you are going to church with me. 1593 01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:48,783 Oh, I don't know. 1594 01:19:48,868 --> 01:19:51,494 God don't care which church you go to, 1595 01:19:51,579 --> 01:19:53,455 long as you show up. 1596 01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:57,292 ♪ Abide with me ♪ 1597 01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:04,966 ♪ Fast falls the eventide ♪ 1598 01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:11,264 ♪ The darkness deepens ♪ 1599 01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:16,686 ♪ Lord, with me abide ♪ 1600 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:23,568 ♪ When other helpers ♪ 1601 01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:29,782 ♪ Fail and comforts flee ♪ 1602 01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:35,497 ♪ Help of the helpless, Lord... ♪ 1603 01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,999 Ouiser, what brings you here? 1604 01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,083 Shut up. 1605 01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:43,129 I was wondering how things were with you and Owen. 1606 01:20:43,214 --> 01:20:47,217 I can report that the Sherwood Florist delivery truck 1607 01:20:47,301 --> 01:20:50,178 stops by her house twice a week. 1608 01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,680 He knows I like fresh flowers. 1609 01:20:52,765 --> 01:20:56,184 And I can report that a strange car 1610 01:20:56,268 --> 01:20:59,187 is parked in her garage once a week. 1611 01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:01,022 There. 1612 01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:02,774 My secret is out. 1613 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,528 I am having an affair with a Mercedes-Benz. 1614 01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:09,405 We are in the house of the Lord. 1615 01:21:09,490 --> 01:21:11,533 Oh, a lot she cares. 1616 01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,869 Ouiser never done a religious thing in her life. 1617 01:21:14,954 --> 01:21:17,413 Now, that is not true. 1618 01:21:17,498 --> 01:21:21,251 When I was in school, my friends and I would dress up as nuns 1619 01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,920 and go bar-hopping. 1620 01:21:25,089 --> 01:21:29,384 Uh, Ouiser, forgive me, but I just been dying to ask you this. 1621 01:21:29,468 --> 01:21:32,387 Have you and Owen, you know, um... 1622 01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:36,391 Wait. I have to get a mental picture of this. 1623 01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:39,811 A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. 1624 01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,020 Well? 1625 01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:44,440 Not that this is any of anyone else's business, 1626 01:21:44,525 --> 01:21:45,900 but no, we're friends. 1627 01:21:45,985 --> 01:21:48,903 He would like more, and I'm dealing with that. 1628 01:21:48,988 --> 01:21:51,573 I'm old and set in my ways. 1629 01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:53,950 You are playing hard to get. 1630 01:21:54,034 --> 01:21:56,995 At her age, she should be playing Beat the Clock. 1631 01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:59,539 Miss DeLore, is 240 on Telemetry? 1632 01:21:59,623 --> 01:22:01,249 Yes, he is. 1633 01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:02,417 Thank you. 1634 01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,254 May I help you? 1635 01:22:06,338 --> 01:22:09,257 I need somebody to fix my I.V., please. 1636 01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:11,759 Someone will be there in a minute. 1637 01:22:11,844 --> 01:22:14,262 Wendy, can you check 240's I.V? 1638 01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:15,388 Sure. 1639 01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:27,108 [Woman On P.A.] Rodriguez, dial 7-4. Dr. Rodriguez, dial 7-4, please. 1640 01:22:55,346 --> 01:22:58,222 I really do. I think that despite everything, 1641 01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,725 we have a very good result. 1642 01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,356 Looks good. 1643 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:09,025 Looks real, real good. 1644 01:23:11,904 --> 01:23:13,529 Thanks. 1645 01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,951 [Thunder] 1646 01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:36,594 Surprise! 1647 01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:39,180 Oh, Truvy, I can't believe this! 1648 01:23:39,264 --> 01:23:42,183 I have always wanted to give a wedding shower 1649 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,685 with a monster motif. 1650 01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:47,188 That's what you get for getting married on Halloween. 1651 01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,231 My heart! 1652 01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:50,024 Let's open the gifts. 1653 01:23:50,109 --> 01:23:52,068 You're welcome. Next. 1654 01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:54,362 M'Lynn, appliqué. 1655 01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:57,031 With some little fringe on them. 1656 01:23:57,116 --> 01:23:57,865 Fringe, yes. 1657 01:23:57,950 --> 01:23:59,534 Quiet down. Quiet down. 1658 01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:02,453 It says, "Better late than never." 1659 01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:04,163 Whoo! 1660 01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:06,374 Look out, Sammy! 1661 01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:07,834 Who's that from? 1662 01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,378 It's not signed. Let me see. 1663 01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:13,131 Ouiser. 1664 01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:14,716 What? 1665 01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,135 I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. 1666 01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:20,096 You have the handwriting of a serial killer. 1667 01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:24,225 I thought Sammy wouldn't mind you reading the Bible in bed, 1668 01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:27,145 as long as you were wearing something inspirational. 1669 01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:28,062 Yuk, yuk, yuk. 1670 01:24:28,147 --> 01:24:30,189 Put down "split crotch." 1671 01:24:30,274 --> 01:24:31,733 This is from Shelby. 1672 01:24:31,817 --> 01:24:32,900 That's disgusting. 1673 01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:36,320 She's sorry she couldn't be here. She's on duty. 1674 01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,321 How is she? 1675 01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:38,281 Fine. 1676 01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:41,325 I fed Baby Renz but not Alex, okay? 1677 01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:42,368 Oh, okay. 1678 01:24:42,453 --> 01:24:43,870 Gotta get home now for Halloween. 1679 01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,329 Have a good evening. 1680 01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,331 Shelby, this is too cute. 1681 01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:49,333 Where did you find this? 1682 01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:50,835 Aunt Fern made it. 1683 01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:53,337 I can't wait to get home and try it on Jack. 1684 01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:56,007 I taught him to say "trick or treat" or something... 1685 01:24:57,468 --> 01:24:59,343 something kind of like it. 1686 01:24:59,428 --> 01:25:02,388 Could you hand me that bag, Pam? 1687 01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:07,935 Thanks. Good night. 1688 01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:09,061 Good night. 1689 01:25:11,899 --> 01:25:13,024 Here you go. 1690 01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:16,986 Thank you. And if this don't work on my husband, maybe you can come back later. 1691 01:25:17,070 --> 01:25:18,571 See you. 1692 01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:21,282 Hmm. Looks like somebody's husband's coming home tonight. 1693 01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:25,411 When you work a seven-day stretch on an offshore oil rig, 1694 01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:28,873 all you wanna do on your day off is sleep. 1695 01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:31,793 I'll do everything I can to keep him up. 1696 01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:34,295 Anne Boleyn had six fingers. 1697 01:25:34,379 --> 01:25:36,005 Who's Anne Berlin? 1698 01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:40,551 Anne Boleyn. She was one of the six wives of Henry VIII. 1699 01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:43,471 Oh, well, I never watch public television. 1700 01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:46,140 She had six fingers. 1701 01:25:46,225 --> 01:25:48,643 What happened to the other four? 1702 01:25:48,727 --> 01:25:50,686 She had 11 total. 1703 01:25:50,771 --> 01:25:51,729 [Flush] 1704 01:25:51,814 --> 01:25:54,899 Are you trying to confuse me, Clairee? 1705 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,150 No. 1706 01:25:56,235 --> 01:25:59,320 I just want to expose us to more culture. 1707 01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:04,242 That's not easy to come by in this neck of the woods. 1708 01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:08,287 Ouiser, how about taking a theater trip to New York? 1709 01:26:08,372 --> 01:26:11,290 I don't want to expose myself to anything. 1710 01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:13,251 You should broaden your horizons. 1711 01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:15,753 You broaden your horizons your way, 1712 01:26:15,838 --> 01:26:17,797 I'll broaden my horizons mine. 1713 01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:20,508 I'm going to support the arts in this area. 1714 01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:24,011 [Ouiser] I'll write a check. I support art. I just don't have to see it. 1715 01:26:24,096 --> 01:26:25,346 It wouldn't harelip you. 1716 01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:28,641 Clairee, can I get one thing straight with you? 1717 01:26:28,725 --> 01:26:30,142 I do not see plays 1718 01:26:30,227 --> 01:26:32,979 because I can nap at home for free. 1719 01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:37,692 I don't see movies because they're trash and they got nothing but naked people in them. 1720 01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:41,529 I don't read books 'cause the good ones are made into miniseries. 1721 01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:42,947 You know, 1722 01:26:43,031 --> 01:26:46,284 you would be a much more contented, pleasant person 1723 01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:49,620 if you would find ways to occupy your time. 1724 01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,038 I am pleasant! 1725 01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:54,876 I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly 1726 01:26:54,960 --> 01:27:00,006 and I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself. 1727 01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:02,425 Ow! 1728 01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:03,426 Shit. 1729 01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,052 Sorry, Miss... Sorry, Miss Ouiser. 1730 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:09,432 Annelle, you take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. 1731 01:27:09,516 --> 01:27:12,059 [Laughing] 1732 01:27:12,144 --> 01:27:14,228 Put it in Mommy's pocket. 1733 01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:15,730 There we go. 1734 01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:17,231 We'll zip you up, 1735 01:27:17,316 --> 01:27:20,735 and we'll go trick-or-treating right after dinner. 1736 01:27:20,819 --> 01:27:23,237 Let's go and make some spaghetti. 1737 01:27:23,322 --> 01:27:24,238 Oh! 1738 01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:25,364 Jack. 1739 01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:27,325 [Panting] 1740 01:27:27,409 --> 01:27:28,618 Oh. 1741 01:27:28,702 --> 01:27:31,579 Okay. 1742 01:27:31,663 --> 01:27:32,914 [Babbling] 1743 01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:33,915 Yeah. 1744 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:37,335 Yes. 1745 01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:41,923 Let's go... Let's go call D-Daddy, okay? 1746 01:27:42,007 --> 01:27:45,176 [Baby Crying] 1747 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,552 Shelby! 1748 01:27:47,930 --> 01:27:49,430 Darling, I'm home. 1749 01:27:54,227 --> 01:27:55,353 Shelby! 1750 01:27:56,688 --> 01:27:59,065 What's the matter, pal? 1751 01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:00,775 What? 1752 01:28:02,861 --> 01:28:04,695 What's the matter? 1753 01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:11,202 Shelby! 1754 01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,537 Okay, buddy. Okay, okay. 1755 01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,830 All right. 1756 01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:16,165 Shelby! 1757 01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,667 Oh, my God. 1758 01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:21,170 Okay, baby, just put you right here. One minute. 1759 01:28:21,254 --> 01:28:23,047 Shelby? Baby? 1760 01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,382 Shelby? 1761 01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:41,482 [Doctor Speaking, Indistinct] 1762 01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:51,826 Rejection of the kidney. 1763 01:29:02,754 --> 01:29:05,089 The coma may be irreversible. 1764 01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:21,939 [Humming "Hush, Little Baby"] 1765 01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:43,377 Good morning. 1766 01:29:43,462 --> 01:29:44,378 Morning, Gladys. 1767 01:29:44,463 --> 01:29:46,672 We're doing our Jane Fonda. 1768 01:29:46,757 --> 01:29:49,300 Yeah, exercises are good for her. 1769 01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:54,555 Here's the one where you're holding him. 1770 01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,599 You're looking at him and he's looking at you, 1771 01:29:56,683 --> 01:29:59,852 and then you all looked over at me. Remember? 1772 01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:01,228 Open your eyes, Shelby. 1773 01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:04,482 Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Look at him. 1774 01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,484 He wants you to open your eyes, Shelby. 1775 01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:09,570 He wants you to open... open your eyes. 1776 01:30:15,994 --> 01:30:18,370 The patient's pulse is unchanged. 1777 01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:23,000 Some fluttering in the A.V. Fistula. 1778 01:30:24,795 --> 01:30:26,253 It's weak. 1779 01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:28,214 The radial pulse is weaker. 1780 01:30:28,298 --> 01:30:30,800 The renal pulse is unchanged. 1781 01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:57,118 "Lesson three. 1782 01:30:57,202 --> 01:31:02,414 "Never be afraid to try a brave new look. 1783 01:31:02,499 --> 01:31:05,668 "Now, that can mean wearing... 1784 01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,754 "daring to wear, um... 1785 01:31:08,839 --> 01:31:13,551 a sexy slip of a dress that bares..." 1786 01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:22,601 Honey, it'll do you good to get out for a while. 1787 01:31:22,686 --> 01:31:24,186 Eat a real dinner. 1788 01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:31,694 What if she wakes up for two minutes and I'm not here? 1789 01:31:35,824 --> 01:31:38,492 "For example, 1790 01:31:38,577 --> 01:31:41,704 we know where you can get a top-of-the-line hairstyle." 1791 01:33:04,829 --> 01:33:05,996 [Kiss] 1792 01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:58,257 Call Clairee. 1793 01:34:00,176 --> 01:34:01,719 Call Connolly's Funeral Home. 1794 01:34:01,803 --> 01:34:03,304 That's the nicest. 1795 01:34:09,436 --> 01:34:10,728 Jackson. 1796 01:34:13,356 --> 01:34:16,525 You're going to have to get her pink suit, 1797 01:34:16,609 --> 01:34:20,654 the one with the little red cherries on the lapel? 1798 01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:25,784 Where's Jack, Jr? 1799 01:34:25,869 --> 01:34:27,453 Aunt Fern's. 1800 01:35:13,291 --> 01:35:14,541 Here's your grandma. 1801 01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:27,805 There you go. 1802 01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:30,391 Pumpkin. 1803 01:35:33,311 --> 01:35:35,229 Jackson. 1804 01:35:59,712 --> 01:36:02,673 Does this tie go? 1805 01:36:05,510 --> 01:36:06,844 Yeah. 1806 01:36:09,097 --> 01:36:11,515 You look real nice. 1807 01:36:11,599 --> 01:36:15,436 I'll come with you to the funeral if you don't mind. 1808 01:36:16,521 --> 01:36:18,522 I don't mind. 1809 01:36:31,161 --> 01:36:34,204 I feel sorry for them, you know? 1810 01:36:35,582 --> 01:36:37,583 I mean, especially Jackson... 1811 01:36:39,836 --> 01:36:42,045 Iosing Shelby like that. 1812 01:36:45,842 --> 01:36:48,844 If something like that ever happened to me, I don't know... 1813 01:36:51,139 --> 01:36:53,140 I don't know what I'd do. 1814 01:36:59,647 --> 01:37:03,108 A thing like this just doesn't make any sense. 1815 01:37:04,277 --> 01:37:06,320 No sense at all. 1816 01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,656 I just keep thinking about what Annelle says. 1817 01:37:09,741 --> 01:37:13,076 "The Lord works in mysterious ways." 1818 01:37:14,287 --> 01:37:16,413 What the hell is this for? 1819 01:37:17,916 --> 01:37:19,666 It makes you pretty. 1820 01:39:16,284 --> 01:39:17,743 Hey. 1821 01:39:17,827 --> 01:39:19,703 Come on home, honey. 1822 01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:39,598 How you holding up, honey? 1823 01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,393 I'm fine. 1824 01:39:44,771 --> 01:39:47,731 It was a beautiful service. 1825 01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:50,776 The flowers were the most beautiful flowers 1826 01:39:50,860 --> 01:39:52,861 I have ever seen. 1827 01:39:52,945 --> 01:39:55,364 They were beautiful. 1828 01:39:56,949 --> 01:39:58,325 Miss M'Lynn? 1829 01:39:58,409 --> 01:40:01,495 It should make you feel a lot better 1830 01:40:01,579 --> 01:40:04,581 that Shelby is with her king. 1831 01:40:05,750 --> 01:40:08,877 Yes, Annelle, I guess it should. 1832 01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:11,922 We should all be rejoicing. 1833 01:40:12,006 --> 01:40:13,215 You go on ahead. 1834 01:40:13,299 --> 01:40:15,384 I'm sorry if I don't feel like it. 1835 01:40:15,468 --> 01:40:16,843 I guess I'm a little selfish. 1836 01:40:16,928 --> 01:40:18,595 I'd rather have her here. 1837 01:40:21,307 --> 01:40:22,724 Miss M'Lynn... 1838 01:40:23,893 --> 01:40:27,479 I don't mean to upset you by saying that. 1839 01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:31,149 It's just that... 1840 01:40:32,151 --> 01:40:34,069 when something like this happens, 1841 01:40:34,153 --> 01:40:35,529 I pray very hard 1842 01:40:35,613 --> 01:40:39,199 to make heads or tails of it, and... 1843 01:40:39,283 --> 01:40:42,202 and I think that in Shelby's case, 1844 01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:46,039 she just wanted to take care of that little baby 1845 01:40:46,124 --> 01:40:50,127 and of you, of everybody she knew. 1846 01:40:50,211 --> 01:40:53,046 And her poor little body was just worn out. 1847 01:40:53,798 --> 01:40:58,051 It just wouldn't let her do all the things she wanted to. 1848 01:40:58,136 --> 01:41:01,054 So she went on to a place 1849 01:41:01,139 --> 01:41:04,015 where she could be a guardian angel. 1850 01:41:05,184 --> 01:41:07,477 She will always be young, 1851 01:41:07,562 --> 01:41:10,480 she will always be beautiful. 1852 01:41:10,565 --> 01:41:15,402 And I personally feel much safer knowing she's up there on my side. 1853 01:41:17,822 --> 01:41:21,491 It may sound real simple and stupid, 1854 01:41:21,576 --> 01:41:23,160 and maybe I am, 1855 01:41:23,244 --> 01:41:26,955 but that's how I get through things like this. 1856 01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:33,128 Thank you, Annelle. 1857 01:41:37,467 --> 01:41:39,468 I appreciate that. 1858 01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:43,805 And it's a real good idea. 1859 01:41:43,890 --> 01:41:48,393 Shelby wouldn't want us to get mired down and wallow in this. 1860 01:41:48,478 --> 01:41:52,314 We should handle it the best way we know how 1861 01:41:52,398 --> 01:41:53,857 and get on with it. 1862 01:41:54,734 --> 01:41:57,277 That's what my mind says. 1863 01:41:58,529 --> 01:42:02,032 I wish somebody would explain it to my heart. 1864 01:42:02,116 --> 01:42:04,868 Drum says you never left her side for a second. 1865 01:42:05,828 --> 01:42:07,454 No... 1866 01:42:07,538 --> 01:42:10,457 I couldn't leave my Shelby. 1867 01:42:10,541 --> 01:42:13,460 I just sat there and kept on pushing 1868 01:42:13,544 --> 01:42:16,963 the way I always have where Shelby was concerned. 1869 01:42:17,048 --> 01:42:21,593 I was hoping she'd sit up and argue with me. 1870 01:42:23,054 --> 01:42:26,473 And finally we realized there was no hope. 1871 01:42:28,559 --> 01:42:30,352 We turned off the machines. 1872 01:42:32,355 --> 01:42:34,356 Drum left. He couldn't take it. 1873 01:42:35,566 --> 01:42:36,900 Jackson left. 1874 01:42:40,321 --> 01:42:42,322 I find it amusing. 1875 01:42:42,406 --> 01:42:46,868 Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. 1876 01:42:49,080 --> 01:42:51,581 But I just sat there. 1877 01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:56,002 I just held Shelby's hand. 1878 01:42:58,422 --> 01:43:00,507 There was no noise... 1879 01:43:01,551 --> 01:43:02,843 no tremble... 1880 01:43:04,011 --> 01:43:05,929 just... peace. 1881 01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:11,434 Oh, God. 1882 01:43:11,519 --> 01:43:16,481 I realize, as a woman, how lucky I am. 1883 01:43:17,567 --> 01:43:18,984 I was there 1884 01:43:19,068 --> 01:43:23,071 when that wonderful creature drifted into my life, 1885 01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:25,824 and I was there when she drifted out. 1886 01:43:25,908 --> 01:43:29,411 It was the most precious moment of my life. 1887 01:43:36,669 --> 01:43:37,919 I got to get back. 1888 01:43:38,629 --> 01:43:40,380 Does anybody got a mirror? 1889 01:43:40,464 --> 01:43:43,633 Does anybody have a mirror? 1890 01:43:43,718 --> 01:43:46,553 I don't know how you're doing on the inside, honey, 1891 01:43:46,637 --> 01:43:49,389 but your hair is just holding up beautiful. 1892 01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:55,770 Oh... Shelby was right. 1893 01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,692 This is a brown football helmet. 1894 01:44:00,776 --> 01:44:02,485 Honey, are you okay? 1895 01:44:02,570 --> 01:44:06,239 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 1896 01:44:06,324 --> 01:44:08,491 I'm fine! 1897 01:44:09,535 --> 01:44:12,662 I can jog all the way to Texas and back, 1898 01:44:12,747 --> 01:44:16,166 but my daughter can't. 1899 01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:18,209 She never could. 1900 01:44:18,294 --> 01:44:21,421 God! I'm so mad, I don't know what to do. 1901 01:44:21,505 --> 01:44:22,464 I want to know why. 1902 01:44:22,548 --> 01:44:25,508 I want to know why Shelby's life is over. 1903 01:44:25,593 --> 01:44:27,761 I want to know how that baby will ever know 1904 01:44:27,845 --> 01:44:30,263 how wonderful his mother was. 1905 01:44:30,348 --> 01:44:33,892 Will he ever know what she went through for him? 1906 01:44:33,976 --> 01:44:37,437 Oh, God, I want to know why! 1907 01:44:37,521 --> 01:44:39,147 Why? 1908 01:44:39,231 --> 01:44:41,983 Lord, I wish I could understand. 1909 01:44:42,068 --> 01:44:45,278 No! No! No! 1910 01:44:45,363 --> 01:44:47,280 It's not supposed to happen this way. 1911 01:44:47,365 --> 01:44:48,823 I'm supposed to go first. 1912 01:44:48,908 --> 01:44:51,493 I've always been ready to go first. 1913 01:44:51,577 --> 01:44:55,664 I don't think I can take this. I don't think I can take this. 1914 01:44:55,748 --> 01:44:58,625 I just want to hit somebody till they feel as bad as I do. 1915 01:44:58,709 --> 01:45:02,295 I just want to hit something! I want to hit it hard! 1916 01:45:02,380 --> 01:45:04,923 Here! 1917 01:45:05,007 --> 01:45:06,383 Hit this! 1918 01:45:06,467 --> 01:45:08,301 Go ahead, M'Lynn. Slap her! 1919 01:45:08,386 --> 01:45:09,469 Are you crazy? 1920 01:45:09,553 --> 01:45:10,345 Hit her! 1921 01:45:10,429 --> 01:45:12,263 Are you high, Clairee? 1922 01:45:12,348 --> 01:45:13,890 Have you lost your mind? 1923 01:45:13,975 --> 01:45:17,686 We'll sell T-shirts saying, "I slapped Ouiser Boudreaux." 1924 01:45:17,770 --> 01:45:18,812 Hit her! 1925 01:45:18,896 --> 01:45:21,272 Miss Clairee, enough. 1926 01:45:21,357 --> 01:45:25,485 Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man. 1927 01:45:25,569 --> 01:45:27,821 Knock her lights out, M'Lynn! 1928 01:45:27,905 --> 01:45:29,364 Let go of me! 1929 01:45:29,448 --> 01:45:30,699 You missed your chance. 1930 01:45:30,783 --> 01:45:34,995 Half of Chinquapin Parish would give their eyeteeth to take a whack at Ouiser! 1931 01:45:36,247 --> 01:45:38,540 [All Laughing] 1932 01:45:39,750 --> 01:45:41,084 Oh. 1933 01:45:45,423 --> 01:45:47,507 You are a pig from hell! 1934 01:45:52,263 --> 01:45:53,680 Ouiser, don't leave! 1935 01:45:53,764 --> 01:45:58,059 Ouiser, Ouiser, I was just kidding. Come back. Oh. 1936 01:46:00,688 --> 01:46:03,773 Not a very Christian thing to do. 1937 01:46:03,858 --> 01:46:07,610 Oh. Annelle, you got to lighten up. 1938 01:46:43,981 --> 01:46:45,648 Go away. 1939 01:46:45,733 --> 01:46:49,152 Okay, all right, hit me then. I deserve it. 1940 01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:51,905 You are evil, and you must be destroyed. 1941 01:46:51,989 --> 01:46:55,408 Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could. 1942 01:46:55,493 --> 01:46:59,913 Things were getting entirely too serious for a moment. We needed to laugh. 1943 01:47:01,207 --> 01:47:04,084 I bet Lloyd got a kick out of it. 1944 01:47:04,168 --> 01:47:09,464 Lloyd got a great deal of enjoyment at my expense when he was alive. 1945 01:47:09,548 --> 01:47:13,968 Ouiser, you know I love you more than my luggage. 1946 01:47:23,020 --> 01:47:24,854 All right. 1947 01:47:26,482 --> 01:47:28,817 This is my bench! 1948 01:47:28,901 --> 01:47:30,944 Get off my bench! 1949 01:47:31,028 --> 01:47:33,947 Get off my... Good. 1950 01:47:34,031 --> 01:47:37,200 You are too twisted for color TV, Clairee. 1951 01:47:38,244 --> 01:47:40,036 Have your roots done. 1952 01:47:45,543 --> 01:47:47,460 I shouldn't have gone on the way I did. 1953 01:47:47,545 --> 01:47:49,462 I made everybody cry. Sorry. 1954 01:47:49,547 --> 01:47:50,630 Don't be silly. 1955 01:47:50,714 --> 01:47:54,801 Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. 1956 01:47:54,885 --> 01:47:58,429 Maybe I should have an emotional outburst more often. 1957 01:47:58,514 --> 01:48:00,557 Maybe I should start having them at home. 1958 01:48:00,641 --> 01:48:02,475 Drum would be so pleased. 1959 01:48:06,522 --> 01:48:09,899 I'm glad to see the two of you made up. 1960 01:48:09,984 --> 01:48:12,402 Ouiser could never stay mad at me. 1961 01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:15,321 She worships the quicksand I walk on. 1962 01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:22,162 M'Lynn... you're in my prayers, honey. 1963 01:48:29,211 --> 01:48:31,963 Yes, Annelle, I pray. 1964 01:48:33,299 --> 01:48:35,508 Well, I do. There, I said it. 1965 01:48:35,593 --> 01:48:36,718 I hope you're satisfied. 1966 01:48:36,802 --> 01:48:39,179 I suspected this all along. 1967 01:48:39,263 --> 01:48:42,849 Don't you expect me to come to one of your churches, 1968 01:48:42,933 --> 01:48:47,353 those tent revivals with all those Bible beaters doing God only knows what. 1969 01:48:47,438 --> 01:48:50,398 They'd probably make me eat a live chicken. 1970 01:48:50,482 --> 01:48:53,234 Not on your first visit. 1971 01:48:53,319 --> 01:48:54,861 Very good, Annelle. 1972 01:48:54,945 --> 01:48:58,114 Spoken like a true smart ass. 1973 01:49:02,203 --> 01:49:04,204 Oh, what are you doing? 1974 01:49:04,288 --> 01:49:06,080 Are you eating my picture? 1975 01:49:17,134 --> 01:49:18,801 Let's play on the swing. 1976 01:49:18,886 --> 01:49:20,511 Get our feets in. 1977 01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:21,971 There we go. 1978 01:49:22,056 --> 01:49:25,558 Hold on. 1979 01:49:25,643 --> 01:49:26,559 Ahh. 1980 01:49:26,644 --> 01:49:28,144 Hold on. 1981 01:49:31,023 --> 01:49:35,401 Miss M'Lynn, I don't know if this is the right time or place, 1982 01:49:35,486 --> 01:49:39,155 but I wanted to tell you that Sammy and I have decided 1983 01:49:39,240 --> 01:49:42,075 that if this baby's a girl, 1984 01:49:42,159 --> 01:49:44,118 we'd like to name it Shelby, 1985 01:49:44,203 --> 01:49:47,288 since she was the reason we met in the first place. 1986 01:49:47,373 --> 01:49:48,998 If you don't mind. 1987 01:49:49,083 --> 01:49:51,292 Shelby would love that. 1988 01:49:52,294 --> 01:49:54,462 I'm tickled pink. 1989 01:49:56,715 --> 01:49:58,091 Pink. 1990 01:49:58,175 --> 01:50:02,095 What are you going to name it if it happens to be a boy? 1991 01:50:03,180 --> 01:50:05,098 Shelby, I guess. 1992 01:50:05,182 --> 01:50:07,517 That's how it should be. 1993 01:50:07,601 --> 01:50:10,520 Life goes on. 1994 01:50:47,766 --> 01:50:51,728 I've never been so uncomfortable in all my life. 1995 01:50:51,812 --> 01:50:56,232 We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant, okay? 1996 01:50:58,193 --> 01:51:01,321 Keep those eyes closed, woman, or I'm going to staple them shut. 1997 01:51:01,405 --> 01:51:03,239 They're closed. What is it? 1998 01:51:03,324 --> 01:51:04,741 Okay. Now? 1999 01:51:04,825 --> 01:51:05,700 Ready? 2000 01:51:05,784 --> 01:51:07,076 Yeah. 2001 01:51:07,911 --> 01:51:09,329 Keep them shut. 2002 01:51:09,413 --> 01:51:10,747 Okay. Open them up. 2003 01:51:10,831 --> 01:51:12,498 All right. 2004 01:51:14,460 --> 01:51:16,169 I don't believe it! 2005 01:51:16,253 --> 01:51:19,839 I'm a chain! Oh, Spud, oh! 2006 01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:23,343 Jesus. 2007 01:51:23,427 --> 01:51:24,844 Oh, lighten up. 2008 01:51:24,928 --> 01:51:27,722 Now, you just burst through those bushes 2009 01:51:27,806 --> 01:51:30,892 and hop over to where the kids are. 2010 01:51:30,976 --> 01:51:33,353 What bushes? I can't see shit. 2011 01:51:33,437 --> 01:51:35,188 Over there. 2012 01:51:35,272 --> 01:51:38,733 I'm an adult, I'm not a five-year-old. 2013 01:51:38,817 --> 01:51:41,819 On your mark, get set, go! 2014 01:51:41,904 --> 01:51:42,945 Come on. 2015 01:51:43,030 --> 01:51:47,200 Okay, Jack, Jr., I'm going to tell you a story. 2016 01:51:48,619 --> 01:51:50,536 Once upon a time, 2017 01:51:50,621 --> 01:51:54,540 there was a beautiful young gal named Shelby. 2018 01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:57,502 And Shelby had a lovely, 2019 01:51:57,586 --> 01:52:03,549 kind and wonderful good fairy named Clairee. 2020 01:52:04,635 --> 01:52:08,221 But there was also a horrible, evil, 2021 01:52:08,305 --> 01:52:11,724 ugly witch named Ouiser. 2022 01:52:11,809 --> 01:52:14,727 I hate these stupid neighborhood things. 2023 01:52:14,812 --> 01:52:17,563 No one's twisting your arm to keep you here. 2024 01:52:17,648 --> 01:52:20,066 Well, I have to be sociable. 2025 01:52:21,360 --> 01:52:23,069 Hey, Rhett's here! 2026 01:52:25,364 --> 01:52:27,031 Let's connect the bald spots. 2027 01:52:27,116 --> 01:52:28,282 Drum? 2028 01:52:28,367 --> 01:52:29,242 Hmm? 2029 01:52:29,326 --> 01:52:30,785 Eat shit and die. 2030 01:52:30,869 --> 01:52:32,078 Hello, M'Lynn. 2031 01:52:32,162 --> 01:52:34,414 Ouiser. Owen. 2032 01:52:34,498 --> 01:52:35,957 Good to see you, too, Ouiser, Owen. 2033 01:52:36,041 --> 01:52:37,834 [Woof Woof Woof] 2034 01:52:38,710 --> 01:52:40,586 Come on, Rhett. Kill! Kill! 2035 01:52:40,671 --> 01:52:43,798 Quit it, Drum! Stop egging him on. 2036 01:52:43,882 --> 01:52:45,341 Arrr! 2037 01:52:47,177 --> 01:52:51,264 And everyone lived happily ever after. 2038 01:52:51,348 --> 01:52:55,685 And the nasty, wicked, evil, wretched, 2039 01:52:55,769 --> 01:52:58,062 horrible, mean Ouiser 2040 01:52:58,147 --> 01:53:01,190 was never heard from again. 2041 01:53:01,275 --> 01:53:04,235 Now, it's almost time for the Easter Bunny. 2042 01:53:04,319 --> 01:53:07,155 Run on down, hmm? 2043 01:53:07,239 --> 01:53:08,531 Here! 2044 01:53:13,871 --> 01:53:15,746 Shh. 2045 01:53:21,253 --> 01:53:22,503 Ha ha ha! 2046 01:53:22,588 --> 01:53:24,297 Hi, Jack. You remember me? 2047 01:53:24,381 --> 01:53:25,965 It's your old pal Ouiser. 2048 01:53:26,049 --> 01:53:28,009 [Jack Crying] 2049 01:53:29,553 --> 01:53:30,344 Aah! Jack! 2050 01:53:30,429 --> 01:53:32,680 This isn't like Jackson. 2051 01:53:32,764 --> 01:53:34,974 Jack, come here. 2052 01:53:42,941 --> 01:53:44,609 Oh, Jack. 2053 01:53:44,693 --> 01:53:46,152 Is he all right? 2054 01:53:46,236 --> 01:53:48,362 Oh, yes, he's all right. 2055 01:53:55,412 --> 01:53:57,121 Ohh. 2056 01:53:57,206 --> 01:54:00,166 Oh, Truvy! 2057 01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:02,919 Oh, honey. It's okay, it's okay. 2058 01:54:03,003 --> 01:54:04,962 Women have babies every day. M'Lynn. 2059 01:54:05,047 --> 01:54:05,922 Jonathan, quick. 2060 01:54:06,006 --> 01:54:08,758 Get that Easter Bunny over here now! 2061 01:54:08,842 --> 01:54:10,259 Hey, Tommy, where's Sammy? 2062 01:54:10,344 --> 01:54:11,302 Over there. 2063 01:54:11,386 --> 01:54:12,512 Why? What's going on? 2064 01:54:12,596 --> 01:54:14,263 What's... Oh, my God! 2065 01:54:14,348 --> 01:54:16,307 She's going to have a baby! 2066 01:54:16,391 --> 01:54:18,017 Go get a doctor. 2067 01:54:18,101 --> 01:54:18,893 A doc... Help! 2068 01:54:18,977 --> 01:54:21,187 This way! This way! 2069 01:54:21,271 --> 01:54:22,813 This way. Come on. 2070 01:54:22,898 --> 01:54:25,942 Through here. Come on. Get her in. 2071 01:54:29,029 --> 01:54:31,906 It's all right, honey. We'll get Sammy. 2072 01:54:31,990 --> 01:54:34,283 Easy, easy. 2073 01:54:40,707 --> 01:54:41,374 Bye-bye. 2074 01:54:41,458 --> 01:54:44,460 Bye. Bye. Bye. 2075 01:54:46,880 --> 01:54:48,714 Come on, Sammy! 2076 01:54:49,967 --> 01:54:51,759 Get your tail hopping!